Writing Notes

Have you ever written a note to your pastor, worship leader, or church board? Christians love to write notes—especially nasty notes!

It seems the worship leader gets the bulk of the condemning comments. We think we aren’t singing enough hymns, we complain about the horns being too loud, or we lament the “7-11” praise songs. Those are the worship tunes wherein we sing the same seven words eleven times.

We criticize the church board for how and where they spend money, we chastise the pastor for preaching too long (hey, we’ve got to get to Applebee’s), and we fuss over which version of the Bible is God-approved.

What do all these complaints have in common? They are focused on us—me, me, me!

The big bulk of the ugly notes received by pastors, worship leaders, board members, and church staff are motivated by a selfish desire to personalize church. We’re not always interested in seeing the big picture. Rather, we focus on the little self-portrait we’ve painted of our perfect church—with us in the center.

I have to use readers—the cheap little glasses that help me see the words in books, newspapers, and the like. They’re great for close up reading, but are completely useless for seeing things in the distance. Everything beyond the stretch of my arm is blurry and out of focus.

Are you looking at church through a close-up lens that prevents you from seeing the big picture? Are you so busy critiquing every element of each Sunday service that you have lost sight of the purpose of the church?

The church is one body made up of many parts. We represent many and varied tastes in music, literature, clothing style, and entertainment. Likewise, we represent a cornucopia of ideas—thoughts about how best to “do” church.

We should, however, have one purpose—to reach and serve the world for Jesus.

Take off the rose-colored glasses that keep you focused on your here and now self. It’s okay to offer suggestions and to let your opinions and heart be known. I encourage you, however, to check your motive before submitting that written critique. Are you concerned about something the church is doing that is contradictory to the word of God, or simply in opposition to your own personal taste? If it’s the latter…you might want to put your pen away.

Satan works hard to discourage a church staff and its volunteers—BELIEVE ME! He’s most successful when he uses parishioners to deliver the heavy oppositional blows.

So, put the pen back in your pocket. If you don’t like the way something in your church is being done, get off the pew and volunteer to serve. Get off the pew!

There's a speck and a plank!

Marissa and Suzanne had known one another for most of their lives. They met in church when Marissa was still in elementary school. The girls were both a part of the youth choir that included talented kids of all ages. Suzanne was already in high school, so they weren't part of the same social groups, but Marissa loved being around "the big kids".

Life took Marissa and Suzanne in completely different directions. Suzanne got married and spent several years traveling the world with a Christian Music touring group, and Marissa went off to college. After Suzanne's marriage ended in divorce, she returned home and the two girls reconnected. They were both part of the church choir, had the same circle of friends, and discovered just how much they had in common. When finances became tight, it was only natural that the best friends would get an apartment together. They settled into a fairly typical single girl life - work, church, friends, weekends, dating, etc... Then....

Maybe it was the pain of Suzanne's divorce, I don't know, but she really wasn't into the dating scene at all. Marissa, on the other hand, had always dreamed of one day meeting "that guy" and getting married. She thought "Rick" might be that guy, but after about a year the relationship ended and Marissa was heart-broken. Suzanne's friendship carried her through. Finally, Suzanne made a confession - she was in love with Marissa. Marissa didn't know what to do with this information. They were both active in the church and Marissa knew that homosexuality was considered sin. The last thing she wanted to do was to tarnish Suzanne's reputation, so she kept this revelation to herself. Marissa moved out of the apartment the girls shared and she went about trying to move on with her life. It wasn't easy for a 30-something year-old girl to meet guys, but the Internet offered some interesting dating sites, so Marissa put herself out there. She met a guy.

I can't pretend to know what was in Suzanne's heart or mind, but I do know what she did. When she found out that Marissa was dating, she went to the church choir director and told him that Suzanne had met a guy online and she was involved in an inappropriate relationship. The choir director moved quickly. He called Suzanne and kicked her out of the choir and off the worship team for "not living a life above reproach". Marissa swears she hasn't "sinned" with the new boyfriend, but she's not believed. She's forced to leave the choir she'd been a part of for 20 years, and the church she'd been a member of for her whole life. She loses her circle of friends. One of these so-called "friends" sent her a card. When Marissa opened the card she was so touched, as on the outside of the card it said, "Thinking of You". On the inside, however, it had a hand written note that said, "When you decide to start making the right choices, we will welcome you back."

It's been several years and Marissa has never really recovered. She doesn't attend church, and she protects herself from relationships as she still has trust issues. What was Suzanne's motivation for taking gossip and lies to the music pastor? What was the pastor's motivation for removing Marissa without ever taking steps to discover the whole truth? Only they know what they were thinking. I do know that if Suzanne suspected Marissa was in an "inappropriate relationship" she should have followed the Matthew 18 principle for confrontation and reconciliation. I also know that Matthew 7:5 tells us that we are hypocrites when we are more worried about the speck in another person's eye, then the removal of the plank in our own eye.

We need to get off the pew and reach out to friends and family who are “living in sin”, or making “inappropriate choices”. God loves them, and we ought to love them too! If you know someone who’s been kicked out of church or a ministry because of their own bad choices (or suspected bad choices), get off the pew and love on them. Loneliness is a sad place to live, even though it has a crazy large population. In addition, there may be a "Suzanne" sitting in the pew next to you - someone who is hiding a secret. Get off the pew! Reach out!