Summer Camp Humiliation

When Michael was 12 years old he went to summer camp with a friend from another church. At the end of the week Michael's mom picked him up.

It turned out that his camp counselor for the week had been another boy's dad. When Michael's mom asked the man how her son had done at camp, he told her (in front of the little boy and anyone within earshot) that he'd spent quite a bit of time in trouble. His crime? He was throwing rocks at trees.

Well, isn't that what 12-year-old boys do? I understand not wanting others to get hurt, but I'm willing to bet Michael wasn't alone in his rock-throwing.

The volunteer camp counselor then turned his attention to the boy's skateboard shirt. "Look at this shirt", he said to Mom. "Why would you allow your kid to wear something with this message?"  Mom was shocked and Michael was embarrassed by the man's judgmental finger-pointing.  He couldn't find one positive or nice thing to say about the little boy or the week they'd just spent together at a Christian camp.

Michael is now 16 and a junior in high school. This past summer he went back to camp. Once again, his mom dropped him off. The same dad was there - ready to be a volunteer counselor for the week. As soon as Michael spotted the man, he pointed him out to his mom and told her how glad he was that he'd been assigned to a different leader's group.

Like it or not, kids are learning about who Jesus is from us. I don't know whether or not Jesus would've approved of the skateboarder shirt, but I do know that he would've responded lovingly and gently. Jesus doesn't leave us with feelings of dread or condemnation, and he doesn't embarrass us by exposing our faults in public.

Kids often feel that Christian adults don't even like them. I'm willing to bet that in some cases - they're right. Jesus loved the little kids and wanted them close to him - no matter what they were wearing.

Character Revealed

A friend posted the following quote as his Facebook status today:  "It is impossible to learn anything important about anyone until we get him or her to disagree with us; it is only in contradiction that character is disclosed." Sydney J. Harris

Sydney J. Harris (14 September 1917 - 8 December 1986) was an American journalist for the Chicago Daily News, and the Chicago Sun-Times. But, this isn't about Mr. Harris. This is about disagreements and character.

It is no secret that Christians often use the Bible as an excuse to behave badly. I've written about many a "believer" who manipulates scripture for his or her own nefarious activities. It's shameful.

Pharisaical people are also great at twisting scripture to support their actions when others disagree with them. How great it must be to toss all personal responsibility onto God. You don't like the way I lead my ministry, raise my kids, honor my spouse, treat my neighbor, or do my job? Well, "God led me to do it this way". Who's going to argue with that logic?

It'd be awesome if my employer would let me palm off my responsibilities in that manner. I could not show up for work all week and say, "God spoke to me, and He told me I should take a few days off to refresh, renew, and fellowship with him." Hmmm...I wonder how that would go over with my boss? And yet, I've had Sunday School teachers use that exact excuse for not showing up on Sunday mornings with nary a phone call to cover their shift. And they get away with it!

I'm pretty sure God calls us to honor our commitments. 

Most of us sit in our church pews, bow our heads during prayer, raise our hands during worship, and drop a few bucks in the offering plate. And yet, there are people - brothers and sisters - sitting on the other side of the room with whom we argue and disagree. How we handle those conflicts is a reflection of our character.

The fact that we have misunderstandings and squabbles is a part of the human condition and most often unavoidable. How we deal with discord and strife, however, is a reflection of our character. When we blame God for our junk, we are a poor reflection of God's character. The majority of Christ followers would agree that God is perfect, so how can we blame our imperfection on Him?

It's not okay to use God as a cover for what I lack in personal character and honor. Owning up to my mistakes is hard and painful, but nothing of real value is ever easy. 

Now, let's get off the pew, take personal ownership of our successes AND our failures, and let's take seriously the task of developing strong characters within. Remember, it is in times of disagreement and dissension that our character is disclosed. We aren't fooling anyone. God longs to shine through us.

Think Before We Speak

I received a birthday greeting that started out like this, “Satan wants to rob you of your joy….Happy Birthday”. Huh? I think this person was trying (in a strange way) to encourage me, but that’s not how I received it. I find that this kind of “satan talk” seems to be unique to Christians. I don’t remember ever receiving a birthday greeting from a non-Christian friend that started with something like, “Karma will kill ya….Happy Birthday!”

Listen, satan wants to rob all of us of our joy! That’s his gig. In the first chapter of Job the Lord asks satan where he’s come from, and in verse 7 he answers the Lord with, “from roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it”. What was satan looking for? He was looking for someone to destroy. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes to kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”

As I said, satan wants to destroy us all. Unfortunately, my friend’s comment came across as a bit pious and judgmental – as if she was suggesting that satan had singled me out. Her statement didn’t bring me one ounce of joy or encouragement on my birthday. Had she been chatting with satan himself? In Romans 1:12 Paul writes that he longs to see us “mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” Sharing what God has done in and through us brings encouragement to the body. Did this proclamation bring encouragement? Telling the truth about satan has its place, but in a birthday greeting? Hmmmm…..

We need to take a moment and think – really think about our words. We need to ask God to give us clarity of thought and we all need to check and recheck our motivations. I don’t pretend to know what my friend’s intention was, but her birthday greeting left me feeling vulnerable and scared. Then I went to the scripture and was reminded that satan doesn’t really play favorites – he wants to destroy us all. But Jesus came so that we could have “life and have it to the full”! Get of pew and encourage! Get of the pew!

Boycotts

Christians love to boycott! We march outside abortion clinics and adult bookstores. We carry picket signs and deliver passionate speeches on street corners in hopes of swaying voters. We boycott products and companies, movies and television shows. Back in the day we would send passionate letters and flyers to pastors and church deacon boards in hopes that they would warn their parishioners about reading a particular book, voting for a distrusted candidate, buying an ill thought of product, or seeing a morally bankrupt movie. Today we’ve got tools like email, Facebook, cell phones, and Twitter to get our message out to the masses in a nanosecond.

For years Christians have been encouraged to boycott anything Disney because, “Few companies have demonstrated as much of a callous disregard towards the concerns of Christians as Disney has” – this according to a “how to boycott Disney” website. The belief is that Disney promotes the homosexual lifestyle. In 1989 a woman named, Terry Rakolta led a boycott against the then fairly new television show, “Married With Children” after viewing an episode that oozed sexual innuendo (didn’t they all). She started a letter writing campaign urging advertisers to drop their support of the show. Ironically, it was her boycott that made more viewers aware of the floundering show and the ratings soured. In fact, “Married With Children” enjoyed high ratings from then on and was kept on the air until 1997. So then, the boycott was a bust? Yeah, I’d say so.

Listen, boycotts are not bad things. I often say that bad things must happen to good people so that good people will rise up and effect change. A boycott will often shine the light of truth on a particularly unjust situation or law. I love a quote from Jonathan Acuff from his blog, “Stuff Christians Like”. #149 addresses boycotting stuff and he points out that he’s not completely against boycotts. “I would rather have a well done boycott spread light on a real issue,” says Mr. Acuff, “than have hatemongers wearing Christian masks be the only thing the world sees when it comes to a boycott.” He’s right. The world tends to see us as hatemongers wearing Christian masks.

I submit to you that we ought to shine a brighter light on some of the junk that goes on behind the church doors. Let’s use our sign making skills to boycott gossip, judgment, divorce among Christians, name calling, and wars about what kind of worship songs we should be singing! It’s not a bad thing that we want to clean up our neighborhoods and cities, but our own house is a mess!

Get off the Pew and speak up! Speak up when the church busybody talks smack about the couple going through a rough time. Speak up when a high school student chatters on about the Sunday School “slut”. Speak up when the pastor preaches something that you believe is in opposition to the inerrant word of God. Speak up when the televangelist begs and cries for money then goes home to his multi-million dollar house on a hill. Speak up when the family with the incarcerated son is kicked out of church, or the single woman is told she must quit the choir because someone saw her at a bar! When we present a clean and orderly house, the visitors will be drawn to us, and ultimately to God Himself.

Get off the Pew, put down the picket signs, and clean up God’s house. Get off the Pew!

Are You A Pharisee? Am I?

A wonderful Christian friend of mine posted the following status update on her Facebook, “Wondering why Christians don't ENCOURAGE other Christians to be all they can and want to be for Christ. It isn't a contest is it? It hurts.” This woman has endured many trials. Her husband left when her children were young, her daughter was a teen mom, and her son rebelled, left home, and ended up spending time in jail. My friend has been judged, condemned, criticized, and abandoned. After all, her family is not exactly a poster family for Christian values. But, you know what? They are the perfect family to put on a poster that promotes forgiveness and family support. They are incredibly strong and resilient.

Why do some Christians feel compelled to point out the weaknesses and shortcomings of others? There are so many hurting people who are crying out and in need of some love and support. When challenges come and the waste hits the spinning blades, the last thing we need is to add aloneness and worry over what the gossips are saying about us to our list of problems.

When I was in the lake of sadness and fire, my Christian family stayed as far away as possible. It was almost as if they believed that my bad luck was an infectious disease. The more alone I was, the sadder I got. The sadder I got, the more desperately isolated I felt. We want to see the good in ourselves and sadly, many of us choose to look for the ugly in everyone else in order to prove our goodness. Luke 18:9-12 tells the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector: To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

Listen, all of us can be embarrassingly weak. I am thankful, however, to have seen brave strength at one time or another in every person I’ve ever known. Each one of us have goodness and kindness inside of us and even when others can’t see it, we must find the lens through which we can see it in ourselves. It is through the lens of pride that we see the weaknesses of others. When we present our inadequacies humbly to God, we will be exalted in His presence. The passage in Luke 18 continues with verses 12-14: "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Get off the Pew and reach out to someone in crisis. Pain, whether self inflicted or brought on by others, is NOT a contagious disease! Pouring criticism out over the wounds of the hurting might make ME feel better about ME, but it lessons who I am in the eyes of God. I don’t ever want to be compared to a Pharisee. Get off the Pew and see – really see – how your words cut deeply and leave lasting scars on the body and the family of God Himself! Get off the Pew!

Grace is NOT an Excuse!

I never cease to be truly shocked and saddened by the way believers treat one another. We say cruel things, we make rotten choices, and we gossip about and judge our brothers and sisters more harshly then any 12 men on a jury ever could. It is my belief that we forgive these infractions because "grace" dictates we do so. We study bumper sticker theology and we believe such truths as, "forgiven, not perfect". If we complain about mistreatment by a fellow parishioner, we are admonished to "show grace".

Christians are not expected to be perfect. We are, however, expected to always be in pursuit of holiness. We are expected (and rightfully so) to be Christ followers who are doing our best to be Christ LIKE. John 13:31-35 gives us wisdom as to how others will know we are Christians. They will know not by our actions, not by how much money we give to the poor, and certainly not by the size of the mega church we build or attend. But rather, they will know us by how we love each other. Read it from God's word; "When he was gone, Jesus said, 'Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him,[c] God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'"

"Forgiven, not perfect" people like us should not be given a free pass to behave badly. Showing grace to our brothers and sisters does NOT mean that we turn a blind eye to sin, or even just plain meanness! I have seen example after example of Christians who say and do the most horrible things, but it is so often the one who calls attention to the bad behavior who gets the boot. The "whistle-blower" is seen as "intolerant" and "lacking grace".

Get off the pew and LOVE ONE ANOTHER! Holding one another accountable is not a sign that we cannot show grace, but rather it is the most loving and graceful thing you can do for someone we love. Telling the truth in love is what we are admonished to do. Ephesians 4:15 (New International Version) "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." Get off the pew and do not be afraid to speak truth in love!

Serving God - Mom's way or no way!

When I was about 15 I met a boy I'll call Timothy. Timothy was a bit of a wild child, but I adored him. It didn't hurt that he was really cute. Timothy was the youngest child in a very conservative Christian family. His dad was a pastor and his mom was a well-respected writer and speaker. It does seem to be a true fact that preacher's kids are the most rebellious, and Timothy was definitely one those p.k.'s.

Timothy's mom seemed to take a particular liking to me. I don't know what it was, but I'm pretty sure she had it her mind that I was wife material for Timothy. I spent a lot of time with the family - lunches, picnics, nights out on the town, etc... I was only 15, but I knew I was being groomed by Timothy's mom to be her son's wife. Timothy, however, was not interested in me beyond friendship. But, that friendship was incredibly special and I am grateful that it has endured for over thirty years. He's never been far from my heart, even though years and years would pass between visits. You see for such a long time, Timothy was off, as they say, living "in the world".

Over the years I would run into Timothy's mom on occasion. Even though we attended different churches, there was always the potluck here, or the retreat there, that would give opportunity for our path's to cross. After the warm greeting I would ask, "How's Timothy". I always got the same response - "Timothy is Timothy". Mom would then spend the next few minutes filling me in on the latest mistakes being made by her prodigal son.

A few months ago Timothy called me. It had been years and years since I'd heard his voice, and my heart warmed immediately. My friend! We talked for an hour, and then agreed to meet for coffee. After bragging a bit about our children and our families, he told me about his rocky road from good Christian kid, to rebellious teen, to prodigal son, and finally to the humble and grateful man of God that he is today. I was AMAZED at the work God had done in this man's life. I cried as I heard him tell of his love for his family, and his hope for reunion with a lost daughter. Then I asked the question, "How thrilled is your mom that you are now a Christian?" His answer broke my heart. "Mom is angry I'm not a part of the same church denomination as her!"

"The Church" is a body of believers - at least that's what the Bible tells us. The word “church” comes from the Greek word ekklesia, which is defined as “an assembly” or “called-out ones.” The root meaning of “church” is not that of a building, but of people. The church is the body of Christ, and Christ is the head of that body. Ephesians 1:22-23 says, “And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” The body of Christ is made up of all believers in Jesus Christ from the day of Pentecost (Acts chapter 2) until Christ’s return. If you are spending time and energy whining about a member of your family or circle of friends because they are going to the "wrong" church, then get off the pew and rejoice that we are ALL part of the same body. There are no walls! That is a super cool truth! Now, I know there are cults, and I'm not suggesting that they are part of "the church". I'm talking here about all Bible teaching, God fearing, Jesus loving bodies of believers. There are some minor doctrinal teachings that separate the denominations, but we are ONE BODY! Let's get off the pew and celebrate our unity.

To Timothy's mom...you're son is awesome, and I am so proud of him. His story of rebellion and salvation encourages me!

Serving The "After Church On Sunday" Crowd

Like you, perhaps, I have many family members who work in restaurant service. There is one thing they ALL agree on - they hate serving the "after church on Sunday" crowd. Maybe they're all grumpy because the pastor preached too long. Perhaps they're ticked off because someone cut them off in the church parking lot. Whatever the reason, many of the eatin-out-on-Sunday Christians are just plain rude!

Often pastors of large churches show up for lunch at a nice restaurant with their entourage in tow. The pastor talks loud, calls the waitresses "honey", and waves obnoxiously at parishioners as they come into the restaurant. These church leaders absolutely act like they are rock stars!

The older female Sunday costumer is one of the most feared among restaurant wait staff. They are picky and finicky, and oh so nasty if their order doesn't arrive in their idea of a timely fashion. I've heard of food getting sent back because it wasn't the expected temperature, wasn't presented as pictured on the menu, or many other minor infractions. Costumers have left evangelistic pamphlets, or "ask me about Jesus" business cards instead of a tip. The finicky tightly wound church ladies will sometimes leave a couple of quarters, or a few dimes for the tip on a pretty big bill. The rock star pastor, however, is often the worst tipper. They'll pay for the meals of their entire entourage, then leave a piddly couple-a bucks for the hard working server.

Listen up...restaurant servers are some of the hardest working people out there. They work long hours, are on their feet nearly all day, and have to smile no matter how rude the patron. They, like you, sometimes have a bad day. Many of them are supporting families and children and they depend on the tip money to put gas in their tanks, or food in the tummies of their babies. Your server may be looking for "something" to make their life worth while and maybe that something is Jesus. When you come in on Sunday dressed to the nines, your server KNOWS you've just come from church. Your witness to those workers begins the minute you pull into the parking lot. You are Jesus with skin on to your server. What does the picture you are painting look like to the single mom or young father who serves you your Sunday lunch? When you get off the pew - take Jesus with you. You might order up a steak AND serve up a good healthy helping of God to a person in need. Get off the pew!