Truth In The Text

I received the following text message from my friend, who happens to be a highway patrol officer:

• I have decided that a lot of church people are the meanest people I know.  I worked this crash at $#@%&* Church where two woman backed out of a stall and hit each other. One woman just informed me she is going to tell "Pastor Dave" about this, because the other woman is lying, etc. I'm like REALLY!!?? Geez! All this woman wants to do is trash this other woman, and it's a tiny fender bender! Both at fault. I told her I based my conclusion on the physical evidence and HER statement too!

My officer friend is a very spiritual person, but wants nothing to do with church. Guess what, that strong opinion still holds–and with good reason. The text message continues:

• I told her it's a small little accident and there is no need for this to escalate. Oh no, not good enough! Now it's going to be a full blown church fight. 

My friend is very aware of the abuse my family has suffered at the hands of so-called Christians. I want to believe that our story is not the norm, but evidence continues to point to so much deep-seated arrogance and dysfunction among believers. My friend's text goes on:

• So, it all reminded me of all that crap with you and your church and I felt like I wanted to just hug U....and kick this mean woman. She is just a shit stirrer. It's like junior high. I mean, this grown woman is running to the pastor like a child when it doesn't even involve the church.  She just wants to hurt the other woman.

Once again...Christians have the opportunity to model who Jesus is for the unchurched, and we blow it. The patrol officer nailed it. So many problems are caused when immature Christians run to pastors to fix problems that should be resolved solely by the two people involved.

My friend's final observation:

• It's no wonder pastors get big heads when their members run to them like kids every time someone looks at them sideways.

Ouch. Get off the pew. Resolve a conflict, restore a relationship, and renew your commitment to be Jesus with skin on. And next time you're involved in a little game of bumper cars out there on the road, remember that you might've just been given the opportunity to witness to the investigating officer. What a privilege.

Nepotism in The Church

Nepotism is alive and well—especially in The Church. Nepotism is defined as “Favoritism shown to relatives or close friends by those with power or influence.”

One of the mega-churches in town has all the members of one family on its payroll. The church hired the music minister’s son after he was fired from another church. The second son is the children’s ministries pastor, and his father-in-law is also on the staff.

At the same mega-church, a board member's son was hired to be the Junior High School Pastor. Unfortunately, that young man has never attended college and he is woefully under qualified to teach young people and lead a department. That is nepotism at its worse—and a bad way to run a business.

We’re certainly not alone in this practice, as there are companies all over the world—large and small—that are filled with co-workers who share the same DNA. There are certainly good reasons for doing business this way.

Sons and daughters are groomed from birth to be the perfect employee. I think of real estate mogul, Donald Trump’s family. The three eldest Trump kids all work for their father. I feel sure that “The Donald” saw to it that those kids got the education and experience they needed to be perfect vice presidents for the Trump organization.

Hey, putting your kids on the payroll saves a lot of time and energy that would have been wasted interviewing potential employees. When a father hires his son he can wave all those pesky background checks, and the exorbitant fees that go with them. After all, Dad knows about most of the skeletons in the family closet.

Kids follow in the footsteps of their parents all the time. It’s natural, of course, since we inherit strengths and talents from our Mom and Dad. Those traits lead us to jobs for which we are a good fit. In addition, we’re all drawn to the familiar—such as the family business.

Hollywood has its famous acting families. There’s the Barrymore family, Kirk Douglas and his boys, and Lloyd Bridges, who along with his actress wife, Dorothy raised actor sons Beau and Jeff. These are just a few of so many possible examples.

Christianity has its royal families too. Billy Graham’s kids Anne and Franklin have followed their dad into the family business, as have the kids of Robert Schuller, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and John Hagee.

I don’t snub the practice of nepotism in church hiring practices completely, but I do believe that those in leadership need to be careful. We must be very sure that the people on the payroll are the best possible man or woman for the job. We ought to hold ourselves to a high accountability—higher than most.


I’ve asked this question before…what is your church’s business model? We represent God to the world, and we should be setting the standard. Get off the pew!

He Calls Us To Be Equipped

“It will all come together because our hearts are in it.” That statement always makes me cringe just a bit. I mean it is absolutely crucial that we bring our servant’s heart to everything we do for God, but we also need to bring a fair amount of ability. None of us would expect to get hired for a job that we were woefully unqualified, or even under-qualified to have. Employers want to hire someone with education and experience. The church should be no different. Make no mistake, however, the church can (and I believe should) serve as a safe place to get an education and/or experience. The trouble is we often give people too much responsibility too soon. When we do this, we set them and those they serve up for failure. That’s not okay.

I’ve met the truck driver who was “called” to be a Junior High Pastor, the just-out-of-college Youth Minister with little or no leadership skills, and the young man with a guitar who was given the overwhelming job of running the church music department. These men were effectively set up for failure. They were put in positions of leadership without a support structure or mentor. They were given far more responsibility than they were equipped to handle, and sadly their inexperience caused brokenness and damage to the cause of Christ.

There are definitely examples of God doing supernatural work using the humblest of people. I think of Bible heroes like David who killed the giant Goliath; Moses who led the Israelites and received and delivered the Ten Commandments despite his lack of faith and leadership skills; the woman at the well who was a prostitute, yet Jesus sent her out to tell her story without ever having taken a public speaking course, and I’m betting she led many people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I believe these are fabulous examples of God’s miraculous power, but these stories are the exception and not the rule.

Samuel was called to do a great work for God, and to prepare him for that work he spent years and years under the tutelage of Eli the priest. In Exodus 35 we read about the building of the tabernacle as overseen by Moses. He wasn’t interested in only men who had the “heart” for the job—he was looking for men that God had gifted with both talent AND education. We read this is verses 30-33: Then Moses said to the Israelites, "See, the LORD has chosen Beazley son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts- to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship. Moses wanted the Israelites to see that the Lord had chosen men with both heart AND skill. That should be our qualification model as well.

Many people hold up the disciples as examples of unqualified men chosen by Jesus to do extraordinary work. They were (among other things) fishermen, tax collectors, and a tent maker who moonlighted as a persecutor of Christians! But, Jesus didn’t pluck them out of their professions and say, “Go lead a church.” No! He taught and mentored them 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for 3 years! That’s a lot of training! When you consider the hours of training those men received from Jesus, we can see that the vast majority of our pastors today don’t even come close to having had that kind of intense education. Speaking of pastors, they would (for the most part) never get up on the platform and preach without hours and hours of prep time going into each and every sermon, and yet they often call on volunteers to pull off a mammoth task with little notice because they “had a vision”. Church bodies don’t want to hire under-qualified men to lead their congregation, yet pastors call on hapless do-gooders “with heart” to be ministry leaders. It’s a strange dichotomy, isn’t it!

So, you think you’ve been “called” by God into a specific ministry? You probably have, but you’ve got to get out of the pew and get educated. That might mean going back to school, becoming a volunteer, or seeking out a mentor who is an expert in the area of work you feel you’ve been called into. As we saw in the passage in Exodus, God chooses people who are both filled with the “Spirit of God” AND have “skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts.” In other words, people with both the heart AND the ability! When God calls you, get off the pew and bone up on your knowledge and polish your craft. Get off the pew!

Ministry Servants

We live in a scary economic time and no one wants to lose their job. Unemployment can be especially frightening for people that are over the age of 50, as ageism is a very real fact in America today. So, people are willing to do almost anything to hold on to a job. Employees are working late nights and weekends with no financial compensation, and they are taking extra measures to keep their emotions and feelings in check so as not to make waves. Fear and intimidation are powerful tools.

Over the past few weeks I have become increasingly aware of just how negative the workplace environment can be for church employees. Because Pastors have the right to fire employees with little provocation and can decide to move in a "new direction" on a whim and at the drop of a hat, being a part of the church staff can be very oppressive. I've met a number of church employees who have said, "I don't dare express my dissatisfaction for fear it will get me fired." We're not talking about spiritual or Biblical debates here, but rather we're talking about an overworked, underpaid, and under-appreciated staff. Pastors love to tell their staff members that they are not just "employees", but they are co-workers in "the ministry", and as such they should be willing to make whatever sacrifice is needed for success. If employees are not willing to give it "their all", then they need to find another job!

Our "ministry" is our life. Every aspect of our life - our job, our children, our family, our friendships, and even our grocery shopping outings - everything about our lives ought to minister to those with whom we come in contact. The Bible is riddled with instructions for employers. They are definitely held to a high standard in God's eye. One example is Ephesians 6:9; "And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him". I am not suggesting that you pastors out there are threatening your employees. But if they are working in an environment of fear and oppression then they may feel threatened. If you have told your staff that they need to give selflessly and without fair compensation "for the good of the ministry" then you are may be taking unfair advantage of your employees.

Come on Pastors, get of the pew and be an example to the world. Most of you have families, and you go home to them - as you should. If you're not willing to work seven days a week and twenty-four hours a day for the ministry, then you really ought not expect that from your staff. Their ministries expand to their families and friends and they need to go home.

You're Fired!

You know...a pastor is the only boss, and the church is the only type of company wherein an employee can legally be fired with no provocation and solely on the whim of the pastor. Because the church is a non-profit organization, they are not bound by laws that protect the employees, and those same laws protect the church from lawsuits that challenge often unfair business practices. Pastors are even better than mothers when it comes to using the phrase, "because I said so!"

We, however, are not unlike a four-year-old whose mommy can't find a good reason for the decisions they make. I, and so many people I know, have sat across the desk from a pastor and with tears in our eyes, and a quiver in our voice we've uttered the words, "but why?" "Because I said so!" Those four words break hearts and change lives. We understand budget constraints. We understand the consequences that come with breaking the rules put forth in the company bylaws. There are many legitimate reasons for firings...and we understand those. But "because I said so!"? Those words are hard to hear - especially when it means losing the job you love, the friends you work with everyday, and the paycheck your family relies on. Sadly, those words also lead to negative views of the church, Christians, and so often - God Himself.

The Ten Commandments can seem like a laundry list of "do"s and "don't"s, but the Bible then goes on to tell story after story after story that all answer the question, "but why?" We see, by peering into the lives of those who have come before us, why God has set up the laws of love in the way that He has. Come on pastors, get off the pew! Just because you have "the right" to use the words, "because I said so" doesn't mean that using those words is the right thing to do. We are not four-year-old children! We are men and women who deserve to be treated with respect. The tireless hours, months, and years of service we give to your ministry deserves better than "your fired because I said so". The way you (we) treat our employees and servants is being watched by unbelievers who are looking for a reason to trust us. The world is looking to us to answer the question, "what would Jesus do?" Jesus walked the earth for 33 years demonstrating how to treat people and how important it is to answer the questions, "who?, what?, when?, where?, how?, AND why?" Get off the pew!

What is our Business Model?

Every year Willow Creek ministries, which operates out of the Chicago, IL area, sponsors something called, "The Leadership Conference". This is an incredible 3 day event that happens in Mid-August each year and is simulcast all over the country (and other parts of the world as well). The Leadership Conference is an amazing time of challenging inspiration. Leaders share their visions, their successes, and their failures, so that church and community leaders might learn. Church leaders have been attending this impressive event every Summer for many years.

A few years ago, a large contingency of Spiritual leaders decided to no longer attend the Willow Creek event because they were offended by the non-christian business leaders that had been asked to speak. Apparently they didn't see the value in learning from the unsaved. We can be so arrogant!

Jennifer has been on staff at a church for a year and a half. She was hired to assist the part-time music pastor and as part of her duties she created the screen media for each of the Sunday services. She created the files which projected the words of the worship tunes up on the screens as well as the pastor's notes, and she chose the creative backgrounds as well. She's very good at what she does and her talent and intuition is appreciated by staff and parishioners alike. She is, in fact, so good at what she does, that she has been asked to create the screen media for all services held at the church in the past year and a half - Christmas Eve, Woman's Ministry events, Men's breakfasts, etc...

Six months ago a new Senior Pastor was hired and he immediately added services and responsibilities to Jennifer's plate. Jennifer's hours doubled, but her pay remained the same. She was becoming exhausted and overwhelmed. In the "real world", large successful companies would never get away with making these kinds of demands on their employees, but this is church. Sometimes it seems that we translate "heart for ministry" to "slave labor".

Last week Jennifer went in to talk with her boss. She brought with her a list of ideas - ways they could simplify and streamline, and ways to be a bit more efficient. Her boss listened and wrote down all her ideas and seemed to be sympathetic to Jennifer's exhaustive plight.

After listening and making notes, he looked at Jennifer and said, "The pastor has decided to move in a different direction and you are being fired."

Jennifer loves her job and was excited about the new pastor and the new direction he will be taking the church. She was really looking forward to being a small part of this new adventure. This is not the way you treat faithful, honest, gifted employees.

"The world" doesn't treat employees this way and it is no wonder that the Willow Creek team invites un-churched world business leaders to teach the church. But shouldn't it be the other way around? The church should be setting the standard and the business model for the world. After all, Jesus himself is our teacher and role model.

It is often said that if churches were run like businesses they would be so much more successful. Get off the pew people. We need to stop running our good people ragged, then discarding them when we decide to go in a new direction. Anyone who is willing to work twice the hours she's been contracted to work for the good of the ministry, is someone who is willing to move and grow in a new direction.

Jennifer has the talent, the motivation, the drive, AND the heart for service and ministry. This is another example of a good person being used, worn out, then thrown away and unnecessarily wounded. Get off the pew Church! We should be setting the standard--the business model. Get off the pew.

Jack and Diane, cont...

My previous post was about "Jack" and "Diane". They had been high school, then college sweethearts. Diane was crazy about Jack and he adored her right back. Jack's mom was apparently less enthusiastic about the relationship, and one day she took Diane aside and informed her that she was "praying" Diane "out of this church and out of my family". Diane lost Jack, AND her church family. She was left hurt and angry. Jack and his family were what I call, "church royalty". You know the kind of family I'm talking about. Church Royalty are the "in" families - the kids are all plugged in and mom and dad are power volunteers. Their thoughts and opinions hold a lot of weight, and it's in the church's best interest to keep the "royalty" happy. I do know that the previous statement oozes cynicism, but you totally know what I'm talkin' about here. A few close friends supported Diane, but the church family let her down and she became seriously disillusioned with Christians, and sadly...with God. There are days when her negative feelings really bubble to the surface.

Diane is a brilliant actor, singer, and dancer. Yep, she's a triple threat and directors are thrilled when she walks into their audition. Diane thoroughly enjoyed working as an actor with the local theatre company, and for a time she did shows at night, and worked in the box office during the day. Groups would often come in and buy out a performance for a company party, a family reunion, or a benefit for a worthy cause. The theatre is a beautiful intimate space and it seats 150 audience members. It was the holiday season and the box office was especially busy when a church pastor walked in to make the final payment on his reservation. He had bought out the theatre for a performance of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever", and the church staff and a large number of parishioners were looking forward to a night out. Diane smiled and said, "How can I help you?" The pastor said, "Well, I know you told us we could invite 150 people to the show, but I have 10 more people who want to see the show and I'd like to pay for the extra people." Diane explained that the theatre only seated 150 people, and there was no way she could accommodate the pastor's request. He looked at Diane and said, "We are a church. We do NOT turn people away."

In Matthew 22, we read about how the Pharisees try to trap Jesus by asking Him about paying taxes. "Pay Caesar what is Caesar's and God what is God's." Of course it is noble that the pastor in this story did not want to "turn people away", but he signed a contract with the theatre for 150 seats and honoring that contract meant honoring God. What the pastor didn't realize was that he was furthering Diane's bitterness toward Christians. After what happened with Jack, his family, and her church, Diane lost her faith in God and God's kids. After his comment about not turning people away, the pastor who wanted more seats said, "you need to find a way to accommodate us", and he threw his check at Diane. He walked out of the theatre and Diane yelled out, "That is why I hate Christians!"

Come on believer, it is great to have a "we don't turn anyone away" mentality, but please respect the rules when dealing with businesses. When you act honorably, you are representing God in the truest light and salt way. When you act dishonorably, you're still saying something to someone about who God is, but it's not very nice. You might be talking to a "Diane" - a broken soul who is looking for a reason to trust again, or perhaps, a reason to keep NOT trusting. Either way, you are out there representing the God you claim to serve. Get off the pew and honor your contracts, as that truly honors God!

Serving The "After Church On Sunday" Crowd

Like you, perhaps, I have many family members who work in restaurant service. There is one thing they ALL agree on - they hate serving the "after church on Sunday" crowd. Maybe they're all grumpy because the pastor preached too long. Perhaps they're ticked off because someone cut them off in the church parking lot. Whatever the reason, many of the eatin-out-on-Sunday Christians are just plain rude!

Often pastors of large churches show up for lunch at a nice restaurant with their entourage in tow. The pastor talks loud, calls the waitresses "honey", and waves obnoxiously at parishioners as they come into the restaurant. These church leaders absolutely act like they are rock stars!

The older female Sunday costumer is one of the most feared among restaurant wait staff. They are picky and finicky, and oh so nasty if their order doesn't arrive in their idea of a timely fashion. I've heard of food getting sent back because it wasn't the expected temperature, wasn't presented as pictured on the menu, or many other minor infractions. Costumers have left evangelistic pamphlets, or "ask me about Jesus" business cards instead of a tip. The finicky tightly wound church ladies will sometimes leave a couple of quarters, or a few dimes for the tip on a pretty big bill. The rock star pastor, however, is often the worst tipper. They'll pay for the meals of their entire entourage, then leave a piddly couple-a bucks for the hard working server.

Listen up...restaurant servers are some of the hardest working people out there. They work long hours, are on their feet nearly all day, and have to smile no matter how rude the patron. They, like you, sometimes have a bad day. Many of them are supporting families and children and they depend on the tip money to put gas in their tanks, or food in the tummies of their babies. Your server may be looking for "something" to make their life worth while and maybe that something is Jesus. When you come in on Sunday dressed to the nines, your server KNOWS you've just come from church. Your witness to those workers begins the minute you pull into the parking lot. You are Jesus with skin on to your server. What does the picture you are painting look like to the single mom or young father who serves you your Sunday lunch? When you get off the pew - take Jesus with you. You might order up a steak AND serve up a good healthy helping of God to a person in need. Get off the pew!