Summer Camp Humiliation

When Michael was 12 years old he went to summer camp with a friend from another church. At the end of the week Michael's mom picked him up.

It turned out that his camp counselor for the week had been another boy's dad. When Michael's mom asked the man how her son had done at camp, he told her (in front of the little boy and anyone within earshot) that he'd spent quite a bit of time in trouble. His crime? He was throwing rocks at trees.

Well, isn't that what 12-year-old boys do? I understand not wanting others to get hurt, but I'm willing to bet Michael wasn't alone in his rock-throwing.

The volunteer camp counselor then turned his attention to the boy's skateboard shirt. "Look at this shirt", he said to Mom. "Why would you allow your kid to wear something with this message?"  Mom was shocked and Michael was embarrassed by the man's judgmental finger-pointing.  He couldn't find one positive or nice thing to say about the little boy or the week they'd just spent together at a Christian camp.

Michael is now 16 and a junior in high school. This past summer he went back to camp. Once again, his mom dropped him off. The same dad was there - ready to be a volunteer counselor for the week. As soon as Michael spotted the man, he pointed him out to his mom and told her how glad he was that he'd been assigned to a different leader's group.

Like it or not, kids are learning about who Jesus is from us. I don't know whether or not Jesus would've approved of the skateboarder shirt, but I do know that he would've responded lovingly and gently. Jesus doesn't leave us with feelings of dread or condemnation, and he doesn't embarrass us by exposing our faults in public.

Kids often feel that Christian adults don't even like them. I'm willing to bet that in some cases - they're right. Jesus loved the little kids and wanted them close to him - no matter what they were wearing.

You're Son is Reading What?

My friend Lorie is a Christian singer/songwriter and has been since she was a child. She's now a grown woman with children of her own.

She was recently booked to sing at a church and she brought her kids with her. Her son sat quietly in the front pew while she did her sound check and prepared for the concert.

Now, I happen to have several friends who are singers and musicians, and many of them travel with their young children. Some of the kids are performers-in-training and they immerse themselves in the minutia - from the set-up, to running the sound board, to joining mom or dad on the stage, to tearing down and packing up equipment.

All Lorie's son wanted to do was read. And so, he buried himself in the latest "Harry Potter" novel. Big mistake, huge - at least in the eyes of the church finger-waggers.

Lorie was told she'd never be welcome back to perform for that particular congregation because she had an obvious character flaw - she let her son read "Harry Potter".

Oh, for heaven's sake. No really...for heaven's sake, let this kind of judgmental criticism go. Lorie's passion is to use her talent to tell God's story. When you squash her, you squash an opportunity for someone else to hear God's voice.

Get off the pew!

Not "Suited" for Church

A well known, revered, and respected pastor died last week. My heart aches for his family and for their loss.

Several people wrote letters of condolence that were then posted in the local paper. One of the writers said, "I never knew him personally, but every time I saw him on television he was wearing a suit. That's how I know he's a man of God - because he wore a suit in church. God's house deserves our respect."

"The Church" is the body of Christ - not a building. Our bodies are called "the temple of God", which indicates to me that I am God's house. A building is just brick, mortar, and glass.

While it's true that this man always wore a suit, I know that was not the criteria by which he'd want his life, teaching, and passion for Christ to be judged. Pastor was from a different time and tradition and even he acknowledged that traditions are fluid and ever changing, but Jesus's message of love, grace, and intimate relationship has never wavered.

Jesus didn't have a pulpit, a building, or a suit. I believe he made those intentional choices so we could walk free from the confines of tradition and rules, and uprightly in an intimate relationship with The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Jesus never dressed like a traditional rabbi.

When I die I sincerely hope no one mentions my style sense, or lack thereof. Get off the pew of tradition and legalism. Jesus desires for you to walk in freedom. 

Doin' Church With An Atheist

I just finished reading Jim & Casper Go To Church by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper *. It’s a fabulous book that really should be read by every church leader and Christ follower out there.

I wonder, are you brave enough to look at yourself and your church through the eyes of an unbeliever?

Long-time Christian, Jim Henderson noted that most Christians have been immersed in The Church culture for so long, that we have no idea how non-Christians perceive us and the ritual we call “doing church”. So, Jim hired an atheist named Matt Casper to travel with him to 12 diverse churches and then give his honest assessment and opinions about what he saw and heard. The book details their adventure.

Matt Casper, like most atheists I know, is kind, caring, and uber smart. He asks a question we should all be asking ourselves; “Is this what Jesus told you guys to do?”

Jim and Casper visit the big and bold (Willow Creek, Saddleback, and Lakewood), and some small and scrappy churches like, a house church in San Diego and “The Bridge” in Portland, Oregon. It doesn’t surprise me to learn that the mega-churches and their mall-like campuses are a bit of a turn-off to guys like Casper.

Casper makes some worthy observations. On music: (The Saddleback band) “The music is too contrived, too slick, too professional, really. I see the entertainment value, but when it comes to music, I like it pure. Too much polish and you lose the heartfelt power, you lose the soul of the music, and you’re not gonna move anyone.”

On visual effects: (The Dream Center in Los Angeles, CA) “Is that what Jesus told you guys to do? Put on a Christian rock show that’s visually and sonically indistinguishable from a non-Christian rock show, change the words, and call it church? Is that pulled from the Bible?”

Joel Osteen is big on the “name it and claim it” religious philosophy, and his vague style of preaching did not appeal to Casper at all. When Osteen’s wife, Victoria cried during the offering call (and a camera close-up revealed her make-up didn’t run), Casper was livid. Victoria manipulatively nudged troubled parishioners to give when she said, “God, through your faithfulness to him, will turn things around.” This implies that if bad things happen to us, it’s our fault for not giving enough to God.

Listen, Matt Casper isn’t the only one that gets ticked off about that brand of overt manipulation. It seems to me that the very public fall of money-hungry, power-thirsty preachers like Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart would keep leaders from using scare tactics to get people to give their hard-earned monies.

My favorite part of the book is the question and answer section at the end in which we Christians reveal how very defensive we can be about how we do church. Both Henderson and Casper address the concerns and questions with grace and understanding.

I walked away from this read with a hunger to “do”. You see, Jesus didn’t just teach us what to believe, but how to act out our faith by serving others—feeding the poor, helping the helpless, and caring for the lost. No, our salvation is not determined by our work, but the assurance of our salvation should inspire us to act.

I encourage you to expand your circle of friends and influences to include people from many and varied faiths and beliefs. Listen—really listen to their thoughts, views, and opinions about God, the world, church, and Christianity. You will be encouraged, inspired, and motivated to get off the pew and put work boots on your faith. Break out of your comfort zone and get off the pew!

* (Copyright 2007 by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper).

When Preachers are Steamrollers

A young preacher was hired to lead one of the large churches on the Northwest side of our city. One of his favorite mantras over the past year-and-a-half has been, “I’d rather do something and make a mistake, then do nothing.”

So, Pastor W. has done a whole lot of somethings and has made a whole lot of mistakes. Sadly, many of his missteps have left wounded and broken people in their wake. Is that fair?

My question today is, at what point should a church board or council step in and decide enough is enough?

Pastor W. fired several long-time church employees and replaced them with younger, hipper staffers. He was new to our area when he was installed and he knew no one. He hired several people who swooped in and impressed the new guy, but who had little work experience. Some of those laborers didn’t work out so well. So, faithful long-time employees are out of work, and the church is still short-staffed because the younger, hipper new-hirers got in way over their heads.

Two decades ago the church family raised the funds to build a gym that could accommodate the needs of the growing kids and teens. It was an especially important project for the then-pastor because he recognized that without kids the church dies. It was a magnificent building—basketball court, moveable stage, tons of room—an all-purpose family life center.

The preacher who oversaw the building of that center passed away a few years ago. I wonder what he would say now that the gathering place for kids and families has been remodeled into a second Sanctuary, and is no longer basketball or kid friendly.

Under Pastor W’s leadership, Sunday school classes have been cancelled, events are no more, ministries were told to roll up their banners and call it quits, and Bible study groups have been disbanded. Services have been added and subtracted, and the “direction of the church” has changed four or five times in less than 2 years.

Not everyone is as ADD as the young new pastor, and parishioners can be slow to change. You know, Christians love their church. They love the choir, their Sunday school teacher, the nursery “cuddlers” who invest in their kids and grandkids, and the friendly face that greets them with a warm handshake every Sunday morning.

Change is good. Change is necessary. Without change there is no growth. But is there such a thing as moving too fast? What happens to the church body when you steamroll over it? People have hearts and relationships and feelings. Christians are like everybody else—we need to find a place where we belong.

Is steamrolling over folks and their ideas really the best way for Pastor W. to grow the church? People are leaving in droves, while others are sitting and stewing in their pew of anger and disappointment. The church board is “trusting God”.

I firmly believe that change is a GREAT thing and is imperative for new growth. I don’t know what the answer is, but I think that pride gets in the way when good men put more value in their ideas then they do on the feelings and needs of the people who hired them. We get mad at politicians who do that and we fire them! But when a pastor does the same thing, we often get angry, hurt, or bitter, and leave the body. Some of us have spoken up, but we’ve been chastised by pew-sitters for doing so.

I don’t know the answer, but we’ve got to do better. Get off the pew and do better!

Illegitimate kids needing a Father

An old friend and I had a short Facebook chat earlier today. We met when our families attended the same uber conservative church where he’s still a member. After catching up a bit, I asked about the church I had attended for over 13 years.

Me: How are things at church?

Him: Different. They’re dedicating illegitimate children now.

Me: Wow!

Him: Yeah. You know, they wouldn’t dedicate our grandkids when they were born.

Me: What changed?

Him: Several staff and “elite” church members had illegitimate babies born into their families and they wanted them dedicated. They had to wake up and live in the real world.

I have to confess—I was shocked (but thrilled) to hear that this particular church was now bringing unwed parents and their babies up onto the sanctuary platform for the dedication ceremony.

For those of you who aren’t churchgoers, when a new baby is born to Christian parents they bring the child to the pastor in front of the congregation. The parents agree to raise the child up to know God and the church members promise to pray for and encourage the family. The pastor prays over the child and his or her parents.

This particular church acted as if the babies born to unwed parents were unclean and contagious! Aren’t babies born to single moms just as important as any other new baby? They deserve to be dedicated to the Lord—don’t they?

When I attended that church there were a lot of very, very rigid rules. Divorced people could not teach Sunday school, musicians and actors were not allowed to perform in secular arenas, clubs, or theatres, and female staff members were not allowed to wear pants.

No, I’m not talking about the 1950’s. I’m talking about recent times. In fact, the only rule that has relaxed in the last few years is the one about woman and pants.

And now—babies born to unwed parents are being dedicated.

How sad it is that it wasn’t until church staff and “elite” family members began to be affected that the pastors finally understood the value of dedicating ALL new babies to The Lord. I hate to point out the obvious, but wasn’t Jesus an illegitimate child?

The Church sometimes fails to see The World until The World comes dancing down the aisle wearing sandals and dreadlocks and plops itself in a front row pew. I come back again to my purpose for writing this blog—to encourage you (and me) to be Jesus with skin on.

Jesus went into the world and walked with the lost, offered hope to the empty, and accepted people right where they were. He did not wait for them to come to Him!

Leaving that conservative church was a very difficult thing to do. Today I find myself wondering why it was so hard. Was I concerned that people might suspect I wasn’t “good enough” to be a member of that congregation? I think I was afraid that if I left the church people might suspect I had sinned!

I HAD to leave the church—the world was calling. You know the whole be-in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world thing? Have you met people that are so heavenly minded that they’re no earthly good? Well…that was me!

I’m okay with admitting that I’m far from perfect. I love the amazing people that I’ve had the awesome privilege to walk with, talk with, share with, and cry with. If not for my imperfections I might still be sitting on the pew in my comfortable piety and religiosity.

Get off the pew. The illegitimate kids of the world are looking for a Father. Get off the pew!

Turf Wars

“The church is like an old girlfriend. I have a lot of good memories and I wave as I pass by her house, but I’ll never be in a relationship with her again.”

I ran into an old friend last night and that’s how he describes the church he attended for 30 years, but left some time back.

What is it about a church that stirs such high emotions? I mean it’s just a building, for heaven’s sake! It’s four walls and a roof. But when people leave a church—for whatever reason—coming back is nearly impossible.

The people inside the building become a gang and the church property is their turf. When you leave and go to another church, you break the gang code and an all out turf war ensues. It all looks like a scene from the musical Westside Story.

The Eastside Baptist Jets battle the Southside Baptist Sharks for membership, musicians, and AWANA numbers. Gang members—uh…I mean, church attendees—sometimes sneak over to enemy territory to do a bit of undercover snooping.

You can almost hear the Westside Story score swell up as the sleuth slips past the barricade—uh…door greeter—and takes his seat in the back pew. Get cool, boy. Stay loose, boy. Come back with answers, boy.

What kinda programs are they offering? Do they ascribe to the big class Bible-study philosophy, or are they a small-group kinda church? Do they have a choir or a praise band? And the bulletin…is the artwork on the cover traditional or avant-garde? Do they put the lyrics to songs up on the big screen, or do they use hymnals?

A friend of mine was edged out of the church she’d grown up in. A couple of years later she decided to attend the Women’s Retreat that was sponsored by her former church. The women’s ministries director called her and told her it might not be a good idea for my friend to go to the retreat. It might be, she said, “a distraction”.

They were suspicious as to why my friend wanted to come back to the old neighborhood. Turf wars.

My friend went to the retreat anyway. Guess what, not a single fight broke out! In fact, God did a healing work during that weekend.

Come on people, “the church” is supposed to be “one body”. The building is just that—a building!

So, are you the old girlfriend, or are you the shunned lover? Do you know someone who no longer feels welcome inside the four walls that house your congregation? Get off the pew, break down the walls and barriers, and call off the gang fight! Say no to turf wars. Get off the pew!

One toke over the line...

Earlier this year I was in Los Angeles. On my way to the airport, I spotted this sign in front of a church.



That's one way to get 'em in the pew. I wonder if they served snacks.

Nepotism in The Church

Nepotism is alive and well—especially in The Church. Nepotism is defined as “Favoritism shown to relatives or close friends by those with power or influence.”

One of the mega-churches in town has all the members of one family on its payroll. The church hired the music minister’s son after he was fired from another church. The second son is the children’s ministries pastor, and his father-in-law is also on the staff.

At the same mega-church, a board member's son was hired to be the Junior High School Pastor. Unfortunately, that young man has never attended college and he is woefully under qualified to teach young people and lead a department. That is nepotism at its worse—and a bad way to run a business.

We’re certainly not alone in this practice, as there are companies all over the world—large and small—that are filled with co-workers who share the same DNA. There are certainly good reasons for doing business this way.

Sons and daughters are groomed from birth to be the perfect employee. I think of real estate mogul, Donald Trump’s family. The three eldest Trump kids all work for their father. I feel sure that “The Donald” saw to it that those kids got the education and experience they needed to be perfect vice presidents for the Trump organization.

Hey, putting your kids on the payroll saves a lot of time and energy that would have been wasted interviewing potential employees. When a father hires his son he can wave all those pesky background checks, and the exorbitant fees that go with them. After all, Dad knows about most of the skeletons in the family closet.

Kids follow in the footsteps of their parents all the time. It’s natural, of course, since we inherit strengths and talents from our Mom and Dad. Those traits lead us to jobs for which we are a good fit. In addition, we’re all drawn to the familiar—such as the family business.

Hollywood has its famous acting families. There’s the Barrymore family, Kirk Douglas and his boys, and Lloyd Bridges, who along with his actress wife, Dorothy raised actor sons Beau and Jeff. These are just a few of so many possible examples.

Christianity has its royal families too. Billy Graham’s kids Anne and Franklin have followed their dad into the family business, as have the kids of Robert Schuller, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and John Hagee.

I don’t snub the practice of nepotism in church hiring practices completely, but I do believe that those in leadership need to be careful. We must be very sure that the people on the payroll are the best possible man or woman for the job. We ought to hold ourselves to a high accountability—higher than most.


I’ve asked this question before…what is your church’s business model? We represent God to the world, and we should be setting the standard. Get off the pew!

Writing Notes

Have you ever written a note to your pastor, worship leader, or church board? Christians love to write notes—especially nasty notes!

It seems the worship leader gets the bulk of the condemning comments. We think we aren’t singing enough hymns, we complain about the horns being too loud, or we lament the “7-11” praise songs. Those are the worship tunes wherein we sing the same seven words eleven times.

We criticize the church board for how and where they spend money, we chastise the pastor for preaching too long (hey, we’ve got to get to Applebee’s), and we fuss over which version of the Bible is God-approved.

What do all these complaints have in common? They are focused on us—me, me, me!

The big bulk of the ugly notes received by pastors, worship leaders, board members, and church staff are motivated by a selfish desire to personalize church. We’re not always interested in seeing the big picture. Rather, we focus on the little self-portrait we’ve painted of our perfect church—with us in the center.

I have to use readers—the cheap little glasses that help me see the words in books, newspapers, and the like. They’re great for close up reading, but are completely useless for seeing things in the distance. Everything beyond the stretch of my arm is blurry and out of focus.

Are you looking at church through a close-up lens that prevents you from seeing the big picture? Are you so busy critiquing every element of each Sunday service that you have lost sight of the purpose of the church?

The church is one body made up of many parts. We represent many and varied tastes in music, literature, clothing style, and entertainment. Likewise, we represent a cornucopia of ideas—thoughts about how best to “do” church.

We should, however, have one purpose—to reach and serve the world for Jesus.

Take off the rose-colored glasses that keep you focused on your here and now self. It’s okay to offer suggestions and to let your opinions and heart be known. I encourage you, however, to check your motive before submitting that written critique. Are you concerned about something the church is doing that is contradictory to the word of God, or simply in opposition to your own personal taste? If it’s the latter…you might want to put your pen away.

Satan works hard to discourage a church staff and its volunteers—BELIEVE ME! He’s most successful when he uses parishioners to deliver the heavy oppositional blows.

So, put the pen back in your pocket. If you don’t like the way something in your church is being done, get off the pew and volunteer to serve. Get off the pew!

We're Game Changers

(This is a guest post. Written by Elizabeth Stoeckel. You can find her blog at lizbydesign.blogspot.com)



Last night some 25 women gathered at a beautiful home in the gorgeous “Van Ness Extension” neighborhood in my hometown. We came together for the purpose of brainstorming and thinking outside the box.

The girls who showed up last night share a dream—a desire to create a Valley wide Christian women’s group. It was inspiring to be in the company of so many amazing, talented, beautiful, and creative ladies—true game changers!

There’s a disturbing trend in churches today to separate and divide the church family into tiny little subgroups. Large gatherings, events, and Sunday school classes have given way to small groups. I don’t mean groups of say…50 people. I’m talking about clusters no larger than 8 or 10 people. Groups numbering more than that are encouraged to divide.

“The Church”—that is, the world church—has already been broken into denominations. The denominations then break off into factions. The Mennonite church, for example, has several sub-groups. There’s the (Old) Mennonite Church, the General Conference Mennonite Church, the Mennonite Brethren Church, and the Amish.

If I were a Baptist, I could choose to be a Southern Baptist, a General Baptist, a Calvinist, or a Seventh-Day-Baptist, just to name a few. Whether you consider yourself a liberal Christian, a conservative, or a legalist, there’s a church out there for you.

Further, we’ve divided ourselves over music, food, jewelry, make-up, and public education. Jesus called us one body. We fight, argue, gossip, condemn, and judge the very same people we share the pew with on Sunday morning.

Paul wrote this in Colossians 3:14-16 (NIV): And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

When people are divided they fight. Where there is unity, there is appreciation and respect. “United we stand, divided we fall” is more than just a clever cliché. It’s the truth!

So, we hope to gather thousands of women together from all over the Central Valley to support, love, encourage, and challenge one another. I hope California is ready to be nurtured and cared for in a whole new way!

Look out Central Valley. The girls are uniting! We’re gonna love on you big time—ready or not!

Can We Buy God's Goodness?

On Sunday I attended the 8:00 service at one of the mega churches in the area. The church has been home to our immediate and extended family for 50 years. When our kids were born we felt blessed to have the opportunity to raise them up with this strong Christian heritage. We all grew spiritually, thanks in part to the good teaching at the church.

Ten years ago we were forced to leave that church. Our hearts were broken. If you’ve never experienced separating from a church family, let me just say—it’s more devastating than the worst kind of divorce drama.

The church’s former pastor had led the congregation for forty-five years, but he retired two years ago. After a two-year search, the new pastor has finally been installed. I’ve been drawn back to my former church home.

Last week the new pastor tackled a subject that every church leader has to address now and again…giving. He taught from the old and new testament, and I thought the teaching was really excellent. The Pastor/Teacher brought the scripture into the 21st century and creatively taught the concept of first fruit.

And then…

Just before passing the offering plate (actually, it was a bag) he made the following statement: “I have always given the first ten percent to God—my first fruits. I want you to know that I have lived a favored life. I believe it is because of my faithfulness that God has blessed me.”

Seriously? Was the pastor saying that if we have experienced loss and bad stuff that we are somehow to blame? Maybe we weren’t faithful enough! And how, exactly, do you explain the Biblical story of Job? He was the most faithful and honorable man in all the land, but God allowed Satan to heap tragedy on his life.

We had always been faithful with our giving—our time, talent, and treasure—but we lost so much. We were forced into bankruptcy, lost our church family, and nearly lost two of our children to the ravages of drug addiction. Are we to blame for what happened to our family?

Pastors are people too, and sometimes they are going to put their foot in their mouth. But listen up…the idea that you live a favored life because you give money to the church does not represent who God is! I know this because I know God and I know His word.

So, dear pastor/teacher—get off the pew and take your foot out of your mouth. Biblical financial principles must be taught from the pulpit, but intimating that when we give to God we are somehow buying an insurance policy against pain? That’s ludicrous!

You bet God wants our first fruits. It’s all His anyway. None of it belongs to me! You painted God as a smooth talkin’ insurance salesman who makes backroom deals and outlandish promises. “Slip me a little somethin’, and I’ll see to it that you’re protected…if you know what I mean.”

Get out your Bible, read the book of Job, then get off the pew and encourage someone who has lost everything. God will restore. Now, get off the pew!

He Calls Us To Be Equipped

“It will all come together because our hearts are in it.” That statement always makes me cringe just a bit. I mean it is absolutely crucial that we bring our servant’s heart to everything we do for God, but we also need to bring a fair amount of ability. None of us would expect to get hired for a job that we were woefully unqualified, or even under-qualified to have. Employers want to hire someone with education and experience. The church should be no different. Make no mistake, however, the church can (and I believe should) serve as a safe place to get an education and/or experience. The trouble is we often give people too much responsibility too soon. When we do this, we set them and those they serve up for failure. That’s not okay.

I’ve met the truck driver who was “called” to be a Junior High Pastor, the just-out-of-college Youth Minister with little or no leadership skills, and the young man with a guitar who was given the overwhelming job of running the church music department. These men were effectively set up for failure. They were put in positions of leadership without a support structure or mentor. They were given far more responsibility than they were equipped to handle, and sadly their inexperience caused brokenness and damage to the cause of Christ.

There are definitely examples of God doing supernatural work using the humblest of people. I think of Bible heroes like David who killed the giant Goliath; Moses who led the Israelites and received and delivered the Ten Commandments despite his lack of faith and leadership skills; the woman at the well who was a prostitute, yet Jesus sent her out to tell her story without ever having taken a public speaking course, and I’m betting she led many people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I believe these are fabulous examples of God’s miraculous power, but these stories are the exception and not the rule.

Samuel was called to do a great work for God, and to prepare him for that work he spent years and years under the tutelage of Eli the priest. In Exodus 35 we read about the building of the tabernacle as overseen by Moses. He wasn’t interested in only men who had the “heart” for the job—he was looking for men that God had gifted with both talent AND education. We read this is verses 30-33: Then Moses said to the Israelites, "See, the LORD has chosen Beazley son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts- to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship. Moses wanted the Israelites to see that the Lord had chosen men with both heart AND skill. That should be our qualification model as well.

Many people hold up the disciples as examples of unqualified men chosen by Jesus to do extraordinary work. They were (among other things) fishermen, tax collectors, and a tent maker who moonlighted as a persecutor of Christians! But, Jesus didn’t pluck them out of their professions and say, “Go lead a church.” No! He taught and mentored them 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for 3 years! That’s a lot of training! When you consider the hours of training those men received from Jesus, we can see that the vast majority of our pastors today don’t even come close to having had that kind of intense education. Speaking of pastors, they would (for the most part) never get up on the platform and preach without hours and hours of prep time going into each and every sermon, and yet they often call on volunteers to pull off a mammoth task with little notice because they “had a vision”. Church bodies don’t want to hire under-qualified men to lead their congregation, yet pastors call on hapless do-gooders “with heart” to be ministry leaders. It’s a strange dichotomy, isn’t it!

So, you think you’ve been “called” by God into a specific ministry? You probably have, but you’ve got to get out of the pew and get educated. That might mean going back to school, becoming a volunteer, or seeking out a mentor who is an expert in the area of work you feel you’ve been called into. As we saw in the passage in Exodus, God chooses people who are both filled with the “Spirit of God” AND have “skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts.” In other words, people with both the heart AND the ability! When God calls you, get off the pew and bone up on your knowledge and polish your craft. Get off the pew!

It's Time To Wake The Sleeping Giant

Shortly after the December 7, 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor, Admiral Isorku Yamamato, the Japanese fleet commander was speaking about The United States when he said, "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant". His words proved to be true, as shortly after that attack the U.S. entered into World War II. We had become apathetic in our pride, and we needed to be reminded of the truths and values that America had been founded on and the fact that those truths were worth going to battle over. I see the church as a sleeping giant and I ask you today, "What will it take to wake you?”

Christianity is under attack, and it's ugly out there. That truth is absolutely evident during the holiday season. "Happy Holidays" has taken the place of "Merry Christmas", and school choirs are no longer allowed to include "Silent Night" or "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing" in their Winter concert repertoires. Churches are being burned to the ground, believers are being fired from their jobs, and God's values are being mocked. Christianity is being silenced all over the world in the name of "religious tolerance", or "political correctness", when in reality our freedom to express and worship is under serious attack and we are not defending ourselves. We have taken a very passive and peaceful position from our overstuffed pews under the roof of our mega-church. Jesus told us to take up the sword and fight, and yet we sit still.

In Matthew, chapter 10, Jesus tells his disciples that they should not plan on winning any popularity contests as long as they were carrying the cause of Christ to the people. In verses 17 and 18 He says, "Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles." Jesus continues on in verse 34 with the admonition, "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."

I am NOT advocating violence like the crazy radicals that bomb abortion clinics, or chant anti-American slander outside the funerals of soldiers. Quite the opposite! Jesus isn't telling us to pick up weapons of mass destruction, but rather we are to put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians, chapter 6). We are to take with us the sword of the spirit, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, and we are to walk in peace and know that we are covered with the promise of salvation. If the people do not receive God's word as truth, then we are to simply walk away. Matthew 10:14 tells us, "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town."

Wake up church! Stand for truth, speak truth, and support one another in truth! We are a sleeping giant, and I don't know what it will take to wake us, but I know we need to wake up! If people refuse to hear the truth, then we are to walk away and continue on, covered in the armor and carrying the sword of the spirit. Shame on us for sitting passively in the pews of our newly remodeled sanctuaries! As disciples, we should be uncomfortable until the whole world knows. Wake up, get off the comfy pew, take up the sword! It's ugly out there! Get off the pew!

Affirm and Defend

In 2nd Samuel, chapter 13 we read the tragic story of David's daughter, Tamar. Tamar was a beautiful young girl with many brothers. One of her brothers, Amnon, fell in love with Tamar. The Bible says that Amnon was "frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her." A friend of his suggested that he pretend to be sick and then ask for Tamar to bring him bread and care for him. Amnon did exactly that, and when his sister was close to him and tenderly caring for him, he grabbed her and raped her. Tamar begged him to not do this "wicked" thing, but Amnon defiled his sister.

After the rape, Amnon looked at Tamar who was lying next to him and the Bible said he "hated" her. Wow! Amnon had allowed the sexual fantasy to take over his thought life to the point that his thoughts finally gave way to action. But as is so often the case, the very thing he thought he wanted, became the very thing he scorned. A guilty heart grows a hateful forest! Amnon pushed Tamar out of his bed and told his servants to bolt the door so he would never have to look at her again. Tamar had been wearing the ornamented robe worn by the virgin daughters of the king. When she left Amnon's room, she tore the robe, put ashes on her forehead, and ran weeping through the halls. Her brother, Absalom saw her and said, (vs. 20)"Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don't take this thing to heart." The verse ends with these tragic words, "and Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman." And we never hear from Tamar again.

Sometimes it seems the easiest thing to do is to quietly sweep sin under the rug. We hear of abuse, or neglect, and we turn a blind eye. This happens all the time in society, and just as often in church families. We don't want to make waves, or perhaps we are hesitant to ruin the reputation of a church deacon, teacher, or pastor, so we ignore the weeping woman running through the halls. We tell the offended to "be quiet now". Of course abuse doesn't have to be in the form of sexual battery to be abuse. Gossip, lying, stealing, and manipulation are all offenses that are too often kept quiet, but the victims of these sins are still victims. Tamar's pain was never affirmed, and no one came to her defense, and so she lived the rest of her days a "desolate woman".

I know a young man who was sexually assaulted by a Sunday school leader. For a period of time the incident was ignored and swept under the rug. The young man suffered in silence. Then one day a courageous pastor affirmed the young man's pain and promised to defend him, even if it meant personal loss to the pastor. There was public scrutiny and eventually a trial. The offender went to prison, and today the young man is emotionally healthy and serving the Lord. He had someone who affirmed his pain, and came to his defense. Without the brave pastor who walked with him, that young man might today be living in desolation.

Get off the pew and defend someone today! If you see an innocent person in your congregation who has been the victim of an assault of any kind - whether it is physical or emotional - be brave enough to affirm their sadness, and then defend them if necessary. Do you know a "Tamar" - someone whose pain has been hushed in order to save the reputation of her abuser? Run to her (or him) today! Get off the pew mighty defender!

Serving God - Mom's way or no way!

When I was about 15 I met a boy I'll call Timothy. Timothy was a bit of a wild child, but I adored him. It didn't hurt that he was really cute. Timothy was the youngest child in a very conservative Christian family. His dad was a pastor and his mom was a well-respected writer and speaker. It does seem to be a true fact that preacher's kids are the most rebellious, and Timothy was definitely one those p.k.'s.

Timothy's mom seemed to take a particular liking to me. I don't know what it was, but I'm pretty sure she had it her mind that I was wife material for Timothy. I spent a lot of time with the family - lunches, picnics, nights out on the town, etc... I was only 15, but I knew I was being groomed by Timothy's mom to be her son's wife. Timothy, however, was not interested in me beyond friendship. But, that friendship was incredibly special and I am grateful that it has endured for over thirty years. He's never been far from my heart, even though years and years would pass between visits. You see for such a long time, Timothy was off, as they say, living "in the world".

Over the years I would run into Timothy's mom on occasion. Even though we attended different churches, there was always the potluck here, or the retreat there, that would give opportunity for our path's to cross. After the warm greeting I would ask, "How's Timothy". I always got the same response - "Timothy is Timothy". Mom would then spend the next few minutes filling me in on the latest mistakes being made by her prodigal son.

A few months ago Timothy called me. It had been years and years since I'd heard his voice, and my heart warmed immediately. My friend! We talked for an hour, and then agreed to meet for coffee. After bragging a bit about our children and our families, he told me about his rocky road from good Christian kid, to rebellious teen, to prodigal son, and finally to the humble and grateful man of God that he is today. I was AMAZED at the work God had done in this man's life. I cried as I heard him tell of his love for his family, and his hope for reunion with a lost daughter. Then I asked the question, "How thrilled is your mom that you are now a Christian?" His answer broke my heart. "Mom is angry I'm not a part of the same church denomination as her!"

"The Church" is a body of believers - at least that's what the Bible tells us. The word “church” comes from the Greek word ekklesia, which is defined as “an assembly” or “called-out ones.” The root meaning of “church” is not that of a building, but of people. The church is the body of Christ, and Christ is the head of that body. Ephesians 1:22-23 says, “And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” The body of Christ is made up of all believers in Jesus Christ from the day of Pentecost (Acts chapter 2) until Christ’s return. If you are spending time and energy whining about a member of your family or circle of friends because they are going to the "wrong" church, then get off the pew and rejoice that we are ALL part of the same body. There are no walls! That is a super cool truth! Now, I know there are cults, and I'm not suggesting that they are part of "the church". I'm talking here about all Bible teaching, God fearing, Jesus loving bodies of believers. There are some minor doctrinal teachings that separate the denominations, but we are ONE BODY! Let's get off the pew and celebrate our unity.

To Timothy's mom...you're son is awesome, and I am so proud of him. His story of rebellion and salvation encourages me!

Ministry Servants

We live in a scary economic time and no one wants to lose their job. Unemployment can be especially frightening for people that are over the age of 50, as ageism is a very real fact in America today. So, people are willing to do almost anything to hold on to a job. Employees are working late nights and weekends with no financial compensation, and they are taking extra measures to keep their emotions and feelings in check so as not to make waves. Fear and intimidation are powerful tools.

Over the past few weeks I have become increasingly aware of just how negative the workplace environment can be for church employees. Because Pastors have the right to fire employees with little provocation and can decide to move in a "new direction" on a whim and at the drop of a hat, being a part of the church staff can be very oppressive. I've met a number of church employees who have said, "I don't dare express my dissatisfaction for fear it will get me fired." We're not talking about spiritual or Biblical debates here, but rather we're talking about an overworked, underpaid, and under-appreciated staff. Pastors love to tell their staff members that they are not just "employees", but they are co-workers in "the ministry", and as such they should be willing to make whatever sacrifice is needed for success. If employees are not willing to give it "their all", then they need to find another job!

Our "ministry" is our life. Every aspect of our life - our job, our children, our family, our friendships, and even our grocery shopping outings - everything about our lives ought to minister to those with whom we come in contact. The Bible is riddled with instructions for employers. They are definitely held to a high standard in God's eye. One example is Ephesians 6:9; "And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him". I am not suggesting that you pastors out there are threatening your employees. But if they are working in an environment of fear and oppression then they may feel threatened. If you have told your staff that they need to give selflessly and without fair compensation "for the good of the ministry" then you are may be taking unfair advantage of your employees.

Come on Pastors, get of the pew and be an example to the world. Most of you have families, and you go home to them - as you should. If you're not willing to work seven days a week and twenty-four hours a day for the ministry, then you really ought not expect that from your staff. Their ministries expand to their families and friends and they need to go home.

You're Fired!

You know...a pastor is the only boss, and the church is the only type of company wherein an employee can legally be fired with no provocation and solely on the whim of the pastor. Because the church is a non-profit organization, they are not bound by laws that protect the employees, and those same laws protect the church from lawsuits that challenge often unfair business practices. Pastors are even better than mothers when it comes to using the phrase, "because I said so!"

We, however, are not unlike a four-year-old whose mommy can't find a good reason for the decisions they make. I, and so many people I know, have sat across the desk from a pastor and with tears in our eyes, and a quiver in our voice we've uttered the words, "but why?" "Because I said so!" Those four words break hearts and change lives. We understand budget constraints. We understand the consequences that come with breaking the rules put forth in the company bylaws. There are many legitimate reasons for firings...and we understand those. But "because I said so!"? Those words are hard to hear - especially when it means losing the job you love, the friends you work with everyday, and the paycheck your family relies on. Sadly, those words also lead to negative views of the church, Christians, and so often - God Himself.

The Ten Commandments can seem like a laundry list of "do"s and "don't"s, but the Bible then goes on to tell story after story after story that all answer the question, "but why?" We see, by peering into the lives of those who have come before us, why God has set up the laws of love in the way that He has. Come on pastors, get off the pew! Just because you have "the right" to use the words, "because I said so" doesn't mean that using those words is the right thing to do. We are not four-year-old children! We are men and women who deserve to be treated with respect. The tireless hours, months, and years of service we give to your ministry deserves better than "your fired because I said so". The way you (we) treat our employees and servants is being watched by unbelievers who are looking for a reason to trust us. The world is looking to us to answer the question, "what would Jesus do?" Jesus walked the earth for 33 years demonstrating how to treat people and how important it is to answer the questions, "who?, what?, when?, where?, how?, AND why?" Get off the pew!

A lil' ditty 'bout Jack and Diane

"Jack" and "Diane" were two kids who had known one another since Junior High. They both grew up in Christian homes and they met at church. Jack and Diane started dating right around their junior year of high school and they were an awesome couple and so dynamic. It really was inspiring to watch those two talented and energetic personalities work together. They created an energy and synergy that was unmistakable wherever they went.

Jack and Diane were not without their faults and struggles - like the rest of us. Diane had a bit of a rough start in life. Her dad walked away from the family when she was just a little girl and her mom had remarried and then gave birth to Diane's little sister. The family floundered and searched for "something" for a long time, but finally found peace in having a relationship with Jesus Christ and a home in their church. Every once in a while, however, Diane still found herself missing her dad and asking questions that seemed to have no answer. Jack's family was wonderful. They welcomed her with open arms and Jack's mom even offered to mentor young Diane. Between Jack, his family, and the church, Diane found grace and solace. Diane and Jack both believed that one day they would marry, and after dating for a couple of years and serving as Junior High team leaders at church, they began dreaming about their future.

One day Diane was studying at Jack's house and when she left, she forgot one of her notebooks. The next morning she called the house and asked Jack's mom if she'd found the notebook. Yes, it had been found. Jack's mom said, "I'd really love to talk with you. Why don't we meet for coffee? I'll bring your notebook and we can chat." Diane was looking forward to having some alone time with Jack's mom and she remembered Mom's invitation to mentor her. This, she thought, would be a new chapter in her relationship with Jack and his family. They met at the appointed time and place. Jack's mom greeted Diane and gave her the notebook. Then, almost immediately, she pulled out her own notebook. She began to talk to Diane.

"In my hand", Jack's mom said, "I have a list of all the things I believe you've done wrong in your relationship with my son." Diane was stunned. Wait! Jack's mom went on. "For months now I've been praying you out of our family, and out of the church." Diane had barely spoken a word. Her head was spinning. "Does this mean you won't be mentoring me?” she thought. This thought was fleeting, for she clearly knew the answer to that question. In what seemed like a flash, Jack's mom was gone. Later that afternoon Diane's phone rang and her world changed forever. "Diane, it's Jack." Fighting back tears, he said something about it being "over" and that they "weren't right for each other", yada, yada, yada. When she showed up for church on Sunday she discovered that she would no longer be serving as a Junior High team leader. There was no real explanation, but Jack's mom had indeed "prayed" Diane out of the family and out of the church. Well, maybe she didn't "pray" her out, but somehow Mom had made it happen.

Several years ago I was standing in the buffet line at a woman's retreat, and I heard one guest tell her friend how she was "praying my daughter's boyfriend out of her life". Hmmm..... Wouldn't it be better to start praying someone "into" the kingdom, instead of "out of" the church, or the family? I KNOW what it feels like to want your child to get away from negative influences, believe me! But I also know that every person who comes into our life is another opportunity to share the gospel - to be Jesus with skin on. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us to "love our enemies and pray for those who persecute you". Pray FOR your enemies, not AGAINST them! The latter, the Bible tells us, is the way of the world (SIN), not the way of the Lord!

Diane's walk with the Lord was forever changed that day. The truth is, that was the day she walked AWAY from God. Get off the pew believer, and walked TOWARD your enemy. If you can't bring yourself to physically be in the presence of your persecutor, then you need to love them and pray FOR them, not against them. Get off the pew!

Hurricane Church

Miss "V" was a worship leader in a vibrant, growing, exciting church. She is a gifted musician, has a beautiful heart and an unwavering love for the lost and hurting. Several months ago Miss "V" found herself in unfamiliar territory. She had an unexplained hole in her heart. She was unfulfilled in her personal relationships and she was in pain. Like so many of us, Miss "V" began looking for ways to fill that hole - a drink now and then with her church friends (yes, her church friends), shopping, selfish pursuits, etc... Nothing was filling the growing abyss in her heart. Finally, she turned to the church leadership and confessed that she was struggling. She asked for help and support. Instead, she was told that there was no room at that church for someone who was "weak" and "confused" - at least not in leadership. And just like that...she was no longer a part of the church family she loved and leaned on.

Okay, I totally get the fact that if you are in church leadership, you (we) should live a life above reproach. But, Miss "V" wasn't living in sin. She hadn't fallen. She hadn't killed anyone. She simply admitted that she was (gasp) human! She wasn't asked to simply leave her leadership role, but she was asked to leave the church all together. Why? We Christians have a tendency to shoot our wounded. When a racehorse breaks his leg, he is no longer able to pull his own weight (both literally and figuratively) and he is put down. I've seen more than a few spiritual racehorses lose their footing and suffer a break. More often then not, we shoot them.

On August 28, 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit the southern coast of the United States with devastating force. While the initial damage to New Orleans and other cities along the gulf shore were not crushing, the break in the levees and the ensuing floods proved to be catastrophic. The survivors of that deadly storm not only lost their homes, but they lost their neighborhoods. A house can be replaced, but a neighborhood? Counselors will tell you that the emotional recovery from a hurricane can take years and years, because replacing a neighborhood is much more difficult than simply rebuilding a structure. Hurricane survivors lose their grocery store, their pharmacy, and their local sandwich shop. They also lose the neighbors who shared their street for 10 years, or 30 years, or 50 years. When we lose our church, we don't just lose a building! We lose our place of worship, our social group, our volunteer outlet, the neighbors we pray for and wave at each and every week, and sometimes - our job. We lose our whole life! Hurricane Katrina swooped in, did her damage, and swooped out without stopping to help one single victim along her destructive path. Churches do the same thing. Like a hurricane, they cut a big chunk out of someone's life, then never look back to see the death and mayhem left behind. We're talking about lives here, people! Living, breathing, fragile lives!

Miss "V" is still suffering. She's looking for a neighborhood to replace the one she was forced to leave behind. She's still cleaning up the mess left by "Hurricane Church" and she misses her friends and neighbors. Be gentle with her.

We've gotta stop shooting our wounded. I'm not advocating letting sin run amok and without accountability, but we are dealing with real flesh and blood people. Are you, in your fervor to grow a church leadership who is above reproach, roaring like a hurricane? Slow down. Get off the pew and look behind you. Have you swept over someone who needs help getting up? Miss "V" will be a "been there, done that" advocate for God's grace, but only if we love her and welcome her back to the neighborhood!