Why I Hate Religion

God told me...

Several years ago my cousin told us that God told her to stop cutting her hair and only wear shades of white.

Don’t ya love it when God gives fashion advice? I wish God would tell me how to wear my hair and what clothes to put on each day. That would seriously make my mornings less stressful, and—since I’m pretty sure God has great taste—I would most assuredly always look fabulous.

Over the years God has “told” my cousin many things, and she has passed these bits of truth on to as many people as will listen. Last year she told me I was “in the belly of the whale”. She said my “words” were ugly. When I asked her what specifically she was talking about she said, “When you are ready to hear the truth, my dear cousin, I’ll be here”. Um…?

About the time she went “all white” is when I distanced myself from her. I love her, but she’s terribly judgmental and critical of my relationship with God. It doesn’t “look” like she thinks it ought to look, so therefore, it must be wrong.

A few months ago, my zealot cousin took me to task for separating myself from her. She believes it’s my fear of being intimate with God that keeps me at arm’s length from her.

I’m amazed at how often I hear this kind of “it’s you and not me” finger pointing in the church. When asked about broken relationships I’ve heard the following explanations—just to name a few.

“She’s intimidated by my gifts.” “She’s jealous of me.” “He just didn’t want to share the drum throne with me, so I quit the band.”

Are there people in your life with whom you were once very close, but have pulled away from you? Try something really daring…ask them why. Then, really listen with an open heart and hearing ears. Maybe, just maybe, it’s you. Maybe, just maybe, it’s me.

Get off the pew of self-absorbed spiritual arrogance and really listen—to God and to friends who might be missing in action. If it’s me, I want to know. Get off the pew!

Religion or Relationship?

A friend posted the following as his status on Facebook today:

"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here." [points to head] - my favorite quote from the movie, "Kingdom Of Heaven"

Do people see you as a religious person, or do they see you as someone who lives each day in pursuit of holiness? We can be religious about many things—work, exercise, diet, or politics. Holiness, however, is what happens in us and through us as a result of having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Jesus wants to be in relationship with us. Religion and religiosity is man-made and rules-based. I desire a relationship with Jesus. I pray that I am always in pursuit of holiness.

Get off the pew and seek Jesus. He wants to be in relationship with you—with me! Get off the pew!

Let Go and Let God (ugh)

“Let go and let God”. “Don’t worry, be happy”. I have come to dislike these two bumper sticker-isms—not because I don’t believe them, but because of how often they are used. We spit out these quips, and others like them, when what we really mean is, “Gee, I have no idea what to say, but I want to say something helpful.”

I’ve written before about what I call “bumper sticker theology”. These are the feel good words and phrases we Christians say to one another. Speaking fluent Christianese is a prerequisite to church membership (or so it seems). Drive through a church parking lot during a Sunday morning service and you’re bound to see a myriad of bursts of happiness plastered on the cars.

Here are a few of my favorite sticker-isms; “It’s not a religion-It’s a relationship”. “Real Men Pray”. "CH__CH—What is missing? UR”. “Jesus Freak”. “Jesus On Board”. And my personal favorite, “In Case of Rapture, Car will be Driverless”. I don’t debate the truth of each of these phrases, but I question the effectiveness.

Jesus walked from town to town and village to village, looking for people whose life he could touch. He didn’t pass through with his arms full of flyers with words printed on fine papyrus using pomegranate ink and touting spiritual fun facts. He found and met the physical needs of the sad, lonely, and hurting. Jesus sought out the hungry, and fed them. He went to the homeless, and offered them hope. He looked for the unlovable, and He put His arms around them.

I believe that if we put a bumper sticker on our car, we should also be willing to act on those proclamations. Prepare a meal for someone who might be sick or homebound (stay away from casseroles—I’m just sayin’). Give a single mom a break, and take her kids to the library for a few hours. Take up an offering for the family who is on the brink of losing their home or having their power shut off. Send a card to a mom whose child is in prison.

There is nothing wrong with the “let go and let God” theology. 1 Peter 5:7 says, Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you. Make no mistake, however, that there are things we can do when people are in pain.

First and foremost, we need to pray for them. When Peter was in prison, the church prayed “earnestly” for him (Acts 12:5). And when Paul was in prison, he prayed for the church (Romans 1:9). In Isaiah 58:10 God commands us to feed those in want. Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. (NIV) In Matthew 25 Jesus tells us to give food, drink, and clothing to the needy and to visit the sick. He went on to say that when we do these things for the “least of these”, we’re actually doing them for Jesus himself. When we refuse to help the less fortunate, we are “refusing to help” Jesus! (vs. 45 NIV)

I know how difficult it is to watch people hurt. I know what it feels like to want to help, but to not have any idea of just how to go about doing that. Let’s get off the pew and look around us for people in need. A bumper sticker won’t fill an empty stomach. Well-intentioned words won’t pay the light bill for a family out of work. Quips can’t heal a broken heart, and feel-good words won’t bring the prodigal home. Get off the pew and decide today to meet one need of one person. That’s what it is to be Jesus with skin on. Get off the pew!

A lil' ditty 'bout Jack and Diane

"Jack" and "Diane" were two kids who had known one another since Junior High. They both grew up in Christian homes and they met at church. Jack and Diane started dating right around their junior year of high school and they were an awesome couple and so dynamic. It really was inspiring to watch those two talented and energetic personalities work together. They created an energy and synergy that was unmistakable wherever they went.

Jack and Diane were not without their faults and struggles - like the rest of us. Diane had a bit of a rough start in life. Her dad walked away from the family when she was just a little girl and her mom had remarried and then gave birth to Diane's little sister. The family floundered and searched for "something" for a long time, but finally found peace in having a relationship with Jesus Christ and a home in their church. Every once in a while, however, Diane still found herself missing her dad and asking questions that seemed to have no answer. Jack's family was wonderful. They welcomed her with open arms and Jack's mom even offered to mentor young Diane. Between Jack, his family, and the church, Diane found grace and solace. Diane and Jack both believed that one day they would marry, and after dating for a couple of years and serving as Junior High team leaders at church, they began dreaming about their future.

One day Diane was studying at Jack's house and when she left, she forgot one of her notebooks. The next morning she called the house and asked Jack's mom if she'd found the notebook. Yes, it had been found. Jack's mom said, "I'd really love to talk with you. Why don't we meet for coffee? I'll bring your notebook and we can chat." Diane was looking forward to having some alone time with Jack's mom and she remembered Mom's invitation to mentor her. This, she thought, would be a new chapter in her relationship with Jack and his family. They met at the appointed time and place. Jack's mom greeted Diane and gave her the notebook. Then, almost immediately, she pulled out her own notebook. She began to talk to Diane.

"In my hand", Jack's mom said, "I have a list of all the things I believe you've done wrong in your relationship with my son." Diane was stunned. Wait! Jack's mom went on. "For months now I've been praying you out of our family, and out of the church." Diane had barely spoken a word. Her head was spinning. "Does this mean you won't be mentoring me?” she thought. This thought was fleeting, for she clearly knew the answer to that question. In what seemed like a flash, Jack's mom was gone. Later that afternoon Diane's phone rang and her world changed forever. "Diane, it's Jack." Fighting back tears, he said something about it being "over" and that they "weren't right for each other", yada, yada, yada. When she showed up for church on Sunday she discovered that she would no longer be serving as a Junior High team leader. There was no real explanation, but Jack's mom had indeed "prayed" Diane out of the family and out of the church. Well, maybe she didn't "pray" her out, but somehow Mom had made it happen.

Several years ago I was standing in the buffet line at a woman's retreat, and I heard one guest tell her friend how she was "praying my daughter's boyfriend out of her life". Hmmm..... Wouldn't it be better to start praying someone "into" the kingdom, instead of "out of" the church, or the family? I KNOW what it feels like to want your child to get away from negative influences, believe me! But I also know that every person who comes into our life is another opportunity to share the gospel - to be Jesus with skin on. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us to "love our enemies and pray for those who persecute you". Pray FOR your enemies, not AGAINST them! The latter, the Bible tells us, is the way of the world (SIN), not the way of the Lord!

Diane's walk with the Lord was forever changed that day. The truth is, that was the day she walked AWAY from God. Get off the pew believer, and walked TOWARD your enemy. If you can't bring yourself to physically be in the presence of your persecutor, then you need to love them and pray FOR them, not against them. Get off the pew!