Clueless Cleric

Our children decided when they were teens that they wanted nothing to do with The Church. Pastors, parishioners, and pew sitters were judgmental hypocrites who would rather point fingers than build relationship.

That, sadly, was our church experience.

The other night I went to an event and sat at a table with a former nemesis – the pastor who decided I should be fired from my church job because I got involved with community theatre. Our kids were devastated when they watched the pastor's critical condemnations break my heart and spirit. I was angry at the time, not only because of how he treated me, but because his actions so profoundly and negatively affected our kids and their faith.

Despite the pain of the past, I'm always cautiously open to restoration. My former boss asked about the kids. I shared their comings and goings, including the fact that one of our kids is an atheist.

"You know," said the man, "one of our sons had doubts about his faith when he was fired from a church and treated so unfairly."

Now, at this point in the conversation I could have said, "Hmmmm....what a coincidence. You're the one whose actions caused my children to lose their faith." 

But I chose to listen.

He proceeded to tell me just a bit more about how hurt his son had been and how he again found his faith. I realized that he's clueless as to how his behavior affects people. He doesn't see himself in the actions of others.

I love the book UnChristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. The book reveals the results of research that exposes how church outsiders see Christians, and how very clueless we are about how we are being perceived. I could've written that book a decade ago, and I don't need the Barna Group to give me research data. I've witnessed unimaginable hypocrisy first hand. According to the book and the data they collected, church leaders are woefully unaware of how their actions negatively impact both insiders and outsiders.

Get off the pew and look in the mirror. We are being watched, examined, hated, loved, emulated, and shunned. We're going to mess up, and when we do, we need to fess up. Being Jesus with skin on isn't easy, but it's who we ought to be.

Get off the pew!

Doin' Church With An Atheist

I just finished reading Jim & Casper Go To Church by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper *. It’s a fabulous book that really should be read by every church leader and Christ follower out there.

I wonder, are you brave enough to look at yourself and your church through the eyes of an unbeliever?

Long-time Christian, Jim Henderson noted that most Christians have been immersed in The Church culture for so long, that we have no idea how non-Christians perceive us and the ritual we call “doing church”. So, Jim hired an atheist named Matt Casper to travel with him to 12 diverse churches and then give his honest assessment and opinions about what he saw and heard. The book details their adventure.

Matt Casper, like most atheists I know, is kind, caring, and uber smart. He asks a question we should all be asking ourselves; “Is this what Jesus told you guys to do?”

Jim and Casper visit the big and bold (Willow Creek, Saddleback, and Lakewood), and some small and scrappy churches like, a house church in San Diego and “The Bridge” in Portland, Oregon. It doesn’t surprise me to learn that the mega-churches and their mall-like campuses are a bit of a turn-off to guys like Casper.

Casper makes some worthy observations. On music: (The Saddleback band) “The music is too contrived, too slick, too professional, really. I see the entertainment value, but when it comes to music, I like it pure. Too much polish and you lose the heartfelt power, you lose the soul of the music, and you’re not gonna move anyone.”

On visual effects: (The Dream Center in Los Angeles, CA) “Is that what Jesus told you guys to do? Put on a Christian rock show that’s visually and sonically indistinguishable from a non-Christian rock show, change the words, and call it church? Is that pulled from the Bible?”

Joel Osteen is big on the “name it and claim it” religious philosophy, and his vague style of preaching did not appeal to Casper at all. When Osteen’s wife, Victoria cried during the offering call (and a camera close-up revealed her make-up didn’t run), Casper was livid. Victoria manipulatively nudged troubled parishioners to give when she said, “God, through your faithfulness to him, will turn things around.” This implies that if bad things happen to us, it’s our fault for not giving enough to God.

Listen, Matt Casper isn’t the only one that gets ticked off about that brand of overt manipulation. It seems to me that the very public fall of money-hungry, power-thirsty preachers like Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart would keep leaders from using scare tactics to get people to give their hard-earned monies.

My favorite part of the book is the question and answer section at the end in which we Christians reveal how very defensive we can be about how we do church. Both Henderson and Casper address the concerns and questions with grace and understanding.

I walked away from this read with a hunger to “do”. You see, Jesus didn’t just teach us what to believe, but how to act out our faith by serving others—feeding the poor, helping the helpless, and caring for the lost. No, our salvation is not determined by our work, but the assurance of our salvation should inspire us to act.

I encourage you to expand your circle of friends and influences to include people from many and varied faiths and beliefs. Listen—really listen to their thoughts, views, and opinions about God, the world, church, and Christianity. You will be encouraged, inspired, and motivated to get off the pew and put work boots on your faith. Break out of your comfort zone and get off the pew!

* (Copyright 2007 by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper).

Mercy Acts

I had a wonderful conversation the other day with a young atheist whom I love very much and is a member of our family.

He was raised in the church, and his coming to atheism was not without much thought and study. I feel confident that he knows scripture better than I do—better than most believers in fact.

We were talking about the Ten Commandments and the young man said, “Jesus said the greatest commandment was to ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart’ and the second was to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’. Right?” I agreed.

He said something that rocked my heart and has awakened my purpose.

“Christians are so pious about loving the lord THEIR God in THEIR way that they turn up their noses and turn their backs on everyone whose love for God doesn’t look exactly like theirs. They’re way to busy ‘loving’ God—and proving how good they are at it—to REALLY love their neighbor.”

When Jesus told the story of the Good Samaritan, the “expert in the law” asked, “who is my neighbor?” The Bible says the man wanted to “justify himself”. I guess he wanted Jesus to tell him that his neighbor was the guy he had drinks with at the local canteen, certainly not a nearly dead guy he stumbled upon on the side of the road!

Jesus goes on to say that a neighbor is the person who shows “mercy”. Mercy is Compassion + Action. In three short verses in the book of Luke, Chapter 10, Jesus tells of eleven actions the Samaritan did to help the stranger.

Verse 33 says the Samaritan saw the man. He then took pity on him. In verse 34 he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. In verse 35 the Samaritan acted further. He took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

A neighbor is someone who notices a need and acts on it. The act of loving our neighbor should be a byproduct of our love for God. They should not be exclusive of one another.

Understand, we are being watched. Do you sit in the pew and piously love God while simultaneously judging others for not loving God as much as you do? Or are you getting off the pew and living out your love through your service?

Mercy notices. Mercy feels. Mercy acts. Those who show mercy are God-like neighbors. Now “go and do likewise”. Get off the pew!

Hell - through the eyes of a 10 year-old

“Imagine being 10 years old and realizing that this kind and wonderful man is going to burn in hell.”

That’s how my conversation with the 23-year-old atheist began. He grew up in a Christian family and he attended Sunday school and church each week. He believed every word of the Bible as it was taught to him.

When he was 10 the young man’s mom took him to an audition at the community theatre. He was a talented kid and he was cast in the role of “Boy Scrooge” in the stage version of the classic tale, A Christmas Carol.

The little boy immediately fell in love with the theatre and with his new extended family. The actors, the stage manager, the tech crew, and the director all took the kids in the cast under their protective and tutoring wings. The kids were called to a new level of excellence and they matured both as artists and as young people.

At some point along the way, my atheist friend learned that the director was gay. It’s not like there was an announcement of some kind, but there are few secrets in the theatre. A light bulb went off in the little boy’s 10-year-old Christian brain.

“Oh no! My director’s gonna burn in hell!”

The young man had been taught that homosexuality was an abomination to the Lord and was the worst of the worst of all the sins. Gay people—like all sinners—would die and spend eternity burning in the lake of fire.

He also knew that he had rarely experienced such kindness, consideration, and acceptance. The church can be a petty place for an artist. I wrote a post recently about how the misfit toys are drawn to a church’s drama department. The boy had experienced this firsthand and had himself felt like a misfit.

He knew he was called to a higher artistic standard than the one the church drama department had patterned for him.

He had watched his family be hurt and broken by church gossip and spineless spiritual leaders, but he still believed that God was the God of miracles and restoration. He’d watched the cliques’ form and the good church kids snub the prodigals. In spite of the bad behavior, he still trusted God.

He knew few people outside of the church and to some degree he assumed that gossip, lies, petty jealousy, and judgment passing was just a part of human nature. Now he was in a whole new environment where he was—for the first time—finding none of that. And yet…these new friends were sinners bound for hell.

It took the young man a few more years to really seek and search, and then allow himself to admit to his family that he was an atheist.

Listen, Jesus modeled for us the gospel of love and peace. He did not walk up to the woman at the well and say, “Hey, I know you’re a whore. Guess what? Unless you walk away from your heathen lifestyle, you’re going to burn in hell—for eternity!”

Jesus showed us that we are to love the sinner and to reflect who God is by accepting them where they are, and sharing with them the gospel of peace. Jesus went TO the lost and talked with them, walked with them, worked side by side with them, and loved them.

Jesus LOVED the lost.

He didn’t just hit them over the head with everything that was terrible about how they lived. Rather, He helped the sinner see how much better life could be with God. He didn’t focus on the sin. He lovingly lifted the veil from the eyes of the spiritually blind, and revealed God’s amazing plan for them.

Jesus modeled how to reflect God to the lost. He simply loved them, and people WANTED to have what He had.

My friend the atheist wants NOTHING that the Christian has to offer. Sad. So sad.

We’ve got to get off the pew and walk in the footsteps of Jesus. Get off the pew!