Unbearable Loss

How can “the church” better serve families in crisis? Well, the first thing we have to do is actually care about families in crisis.

Sadly, I know many moms and dads who’ve suffered the unbearable loss of a child. My heart aches at the thought of their empty arms and broken hearts.

The Church is usually very kind to the families who’ve survived horrific loss. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m a tiny bit jealous of the support given to them. Before you stone me, let me explain.

We went through a dark and tumultuous period when all three of our children rebelled in dramatic fashion. Our oldest son and our only daughter became addicted to the insidious drug, Meth. We found ourselves in the middle of a nightmare from which there was no waking relief. Eventually, our son went to prison and our daughter went to rehab for 7 ½ months.

We’d attended the same church for many, many years and all three kids were dedicated to the Lord by the pastor we loved. But when the going got tough, the church told us to go. The church washed their hands of us and we were asked to take our troubled kids and leave.

We walked through the fire of the next few years alone. I can tell you stories of amazing miracles, and we are so blessed to have had front row seats to God’s love, comfort, and handiwork. The aloneness, however, broke our hearts in ways we could never have imagined.

Because of our experience, I have reached out and walked with many a parent of prodigals through their painful journey. Every one of these families have their own horror story of how the body of Christ disappointed, disappeared, disapproved, or disowned these precious children of God.

The family of a sick or dying child has overwhelming needs—financial, physical, and spiritual. I think it’s admirable and wonderful when God’s kids rally together to help the grieving families navigate the challenging waters. I’ve seen the bank accounts of these moms and dads inexplicably grow, food appear on their doorsteps, yards and homes cleaned, and gifts delivered into their arms.

The parents of prodigals are lonely, broken, sad, and sometimes guilt-ridden. They suffer financial devastation, emotional breakdowns, and spiritual brokenness. More often than not, the body of Christ does nothing for these families except heap more guilt, judgment, criticism, ridicule, and pain on all the hurting people involved. Shame on us!

The only difference between the incarcerated and many of us, is that we were never caught. We’ve got to stop throwing stones. I know the needs are overwhelming, but we can do so many things to tell the parent of a prodigal you care. Pray with them, send their imprisoned child a birthday card, bring meals to the mom who is exhausted from searching for her missing child, or take up an offering to offset outrageous legal bills.

As I said, we’ve had front row seats to some of God’s most amazing miracles. We’ve seen the prodigal come home, and we were led 160 miles by God himself to find our lost child living among the homeless and addicted.

If you choose to walk alongside the parent of prodigals you too can have an all access pass to God’s miraculous handiwork. If you walk away or push them away you might just miss out on the experience of seeing God Himself.

Get off the pew and walk toward the hurting. Don’t walk away, but rather walk with them through the fire. You will see God’s face—I promise.

Picket Fences

Once again the Westboro Baptist Church has made national headlines. As usual, they’ve shined an unflattering light on Christianity.

The fringe church from Kansas is mostly made up of family members of the founder, Fred Phelps. To put it bluntly, they are wackos! The Westboro faithful travel around the country picketing funerals of dead soldiers. They feel that the brave men and women deserved to die because in fighting to defend America, they are fighting for a country that defends homosexuality.

This past week the Kansas Crazies picketed the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards. They had two reasons to slam Mrs. Edwards. First, they believe that her choice to have two more children after the death of her beloved son, Wade was a rebellious act. She should have—in their view—accepted God’s decision to leave her with just one child. Secondly, Elizabeth Edwards defended the rights of the homosexual community.

The Westboro group has been in my community a number of times to picket funerals of our local hometown heroes. How can they afford to travel across the country spreading their hatred? Well, they stir up anger and rage and invariably someone ends up taking a swing at one of the picketers. They then file an assault and battery charge in court and they win monetary damages!

A Christian is supposed to be a Christ-follower. Can you imagine Jesus walking up to the mourning Mary and Martha and saying, “Your brother Lazarus was a sinner and he deserved to die. Now stop your whining and shape up or I’ll see to it that your life is cut short just like that of your brother’s”? Of course not!

We are on the front lines of a real battle—the fight to defend our Lord’s reputation. Of course He doesn’t need us to do that for Him, but the world needs to see Jesus with skin on. That is who we ought to be.

As I see it, there are two ways to battle the Kansas Crazies. First of all, speak up. These people are NOT Christ-followers. They are radicals who are slandering the name of Jesus. Secondly, go out and be salt and light to a world in need of love and comfort. For every act of hatred perpetrated by the Phelps family, we need to offer up dozens of acts of kindness.

Some motorcycle enthusiasts have formed a group called, The Patriot Guard Riders. Whenever the Westboro group comes to town with their picket signs, the Patriots rally their members together to also attend the funerals. They line their bikes up, peacefully stand side by side, and form a loving barrier between the grieving family and the picketers. What an amazing group of men and women! They become a living breathing picket fence—surrounding the families with love and protection from the enemy.

Now get of the pew and be Jesus with skin on. Defend the defenseless, love the unlovable, bandage the hurting, and speak the truth! Get off the pew!

No Suit Required

“This pastor is changing things and we don’t like it. He wants people to stop wearing suits to church!”

A couple in their mid-40’s had only been coming to the church for a couple of months when they decided to go to one of the weekly dinners that are served on the large campus. They ended up sitting at a small table with a suit-wearing, sour-faced, ugly-talking older man and his wife. The crotchety couple didn’t waste time giving their tablemates an ear full.

They were, they boasted, founding members of the church and there are rules—ways of doing things around here. The new pastor, they said, didn’t respect the “traditions” of this old church.

The church I attend hired a new pastor/teacher eight months ago. The much beloved preacher he replaced retired after 44 years at the same pulpit. The outgoing leader was the only minister many in the congregation had ever known.

The new guy is a very young 48 years old. The man who retired was in his 70’s and he definitely came from a different era. His preaching style reflected his this-is-how-you-do-it confidence. No one could deliver a hellfire and brimstone sermon like the old-school minister.

Most of the staff pastors at the mega-church have been around for many, many years. They are used to doing things their way, and true accountability has kind of fallen by the wayside. A “good ol’ boy” mentality prevails.

So, in comes someone new and he’s ready to move the parishioners into the modern era, even if he has to drag the old-fashioned church kicking and screaming into the 21^st century. He brings change to the table and, let's be real, change is met with opposition 100% of the time.

Pastor New Guy offers weekly “get to know me” gatherings. I’ve been to several of these small group meetings where people are allowed to ask questions, raise concerns, voice their objections, and discuss the challenges that come with this type of transition.

The husband and his wife raised their hands and asked the pastor the question, “Are you really telling men they can no longer wear suits to church?”

“What?” Pastor New Guy was truly shocked. “Who told you that?”

The visitors related the strange conversation they’d had only an hour before. They told us they were sitting alone at a small table where the dinners are served when the old man and his wife asked if they could join them. As soon as the gray-haired man learned the younger couple was new to the church, he began bad mouthing the new pastor.

As I sat listening to this tale I was getting angrier by the second. Luckily, I didn’t have to open my mouth. Our lead pastor was plenty enough outraged.

“I didn’t say they couldn’t wear suits to church. I said they have the freedom to not wear suits to church.”

“If we hadn’t been Christians for our whole life, we might have been really offended by them.” The couple was being sweet about the ugly encounter.

“How do they know?” Pastor’s frustration was palpable. “How do they know you’re not a new believer? This is the way the ‘founding members’ of the church are talking to new attendees?”

No wonder the church stopped growing 10 years ago!

Listen up; Jesus doesn’t care whether or not you wear a suit to church! He doesn’t care about designer shoes, name-brand labels, or smart jewelry. Jesus just wants to love you like you’ve never been loved before.

Most of us have heard that church is a hospital for the sick and Jesus is the healer. A pastor friend of mine takes that analogy further. He says churches are like hospitals—you have to be extra careful to not contract an infection worse than the one you came in with.

Have you been infected with negativity, gossip mongering, pride, a judgmental attitude, or legalism? Get off the pew and take it to the great physician. Come to Jesus just as you are…no suit required! Get off the pew!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving all! I pray my American friends have a fabulous day celebrating all we have to be thankful for here at home.

Mercy Acts

I had a wonderful conversation the other day with a young atheist whom I love very much and is a member of our family.

He was raised in the church, and his coming to atheism was not without much thought and study. I feel confident that he knows scripture better than I do—better than most believers in fact.

We were talking about the Ten Commandments and the young man said, “Jesus said the greatest commandment was to ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart’ and the second was to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’. Right?” I agreed.

He said something that rocked my heart and has awakened my purpose.

“Christians are so pious about loving the lord THEIR God in THEIR way that they turn up their noses and turn their backs on everyone whose love for God doesn’t look exactly like theirs. They’re way to busy ‘loving’ God—and proving how good they are at it—to REALLY love their neighbor.”

When Jesus told the story of the Good Samaritan, the “expert in the law” asked, “who is my neighbor?” The Bible says the man wanted to “justify himself”. I guess he wanted Jesus to tell him that his neighbor was the guy he had drinks with at the local canteen, certainly not a nearly dead guy he stumbled upon on the side of the road!

Jesus goes on to say that a neighbor is the person who shows “mercy”. Mercy is Compassion + Action. In three short verses in the book of Luke, Chapter 10, Jesus tells of eleven actions the Samaritan did to help the stranger.

Verse 33 says the Samaritan saw the man. He then took pity on him. In verse 34 he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. In verse 35 the Samaritan acted further. He took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

A neighbor is someone who notices a need and acts on it. The act of loving our neighbor should be a byproduct of our love for God. They should not be exclusive of one another.

Understand, we are being watched. Do you sit in the pew and piously love God while simultaneously judging others for not loving God as much as you do? Or are you getting off the pew and living out your love through your service?

Mercy notices. Mercy feels. Mercy acts. Those who show mercy are God-like neighbors. Now “go and do likewise”. Get off the pew!

WE Are The Mission Field!

There are few things in life about which I am ashamed. However, I am confessing now that I am ashamed of my behavior over the last several months.

I have allowed people to hush me.

My faith has been shaken—again. Not my faith in God (although that wavers occasionally), rather I have come close to losing all trust in the goodness of man.

Perhaps I have given humans too much credit. I really believe that we are called to be better people tomorrow than we are today. That was, is, and will be the foundation on which I built this blog. I sincerely want to be better Christ follower tomorrow than I am today.

I am more convicted then ever before that I do not want to be called a Christian. I am a Christ follower and proud of it. Christians can be mean.

There’s a sign at the end of the very long driveway leading away from the mega-church I used to attend. The sign reminds drivers that “You Are Now Entering The Mission Field”. I hate that sign!

The banner intimates to me that the church believes it is a cocoon, shielded from the ills of the world. We need only to share the gospel with the sinners outside of the compound. This is a sad fallacy. For we have all sinned and come way short of God’s glory. When we focus solely on the mission field “out there”, we neglect the hurting and the hungry sitting in the pew next to us. The mission field is you. The mission field is me.

I’m sorry for my absence over the last few months. I need to keep holding myself accountable to God. I have officially shut down the pity party and I’m gettin’ off the pew!

A Crisis

I haven't posted in over a week.

I'm struggling as I walk in darkness. I guess I'm having a bit of a faith crisis.

I hope you will stay with me and I write about my struggles. Thank you!

It's Prophesied

There are so many things wrong with this song.



Okay...even if you agree with the Biblical philosophy as spelled out in the oh-so-clever lyrics of this tune, the song is just an awful song. It's repetitive, boring, and the percussion patch is juvenile. Who told this poor guy he can sing? I feel so bad for the keyboard. What did it ever do to deserve this?

"...when Babylon the whore gets fried"? Wow.

Of course, this guy should know what he's talking about. He is, after all, the "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse". Really? William Tapley has produced a plethora of video instruction for us and has made it available on YouTube. He believes, among other things, that those who use condoms will not be raptured.

It's no wonder Christians get such a bad rap. This guy makes us look foolish, and he's not a true reflection of who Jesus is.

This is the deal, if we want to reach people with the amazing story of grace and perfect love, we've got to do better than this!

Excuse me, you've got a little God on you

The other day we were out having dinner. We were sharing lovely conversation, a basket of fries, and a great view. I ordered the Mahi Mahi sandwich and it was amazing.

I noticed a family sitting a few tables ahead of me. If I were to guess, I would say it was Mom, Dad, four adult (or nearly adult) children, and the oldest daughter’s boyfriend. They seemed to be enjoying the food and the view as much as we were.

About midway through our meal I suddenly realized someone was standing next to me on my left. “Excuse me”, the sweet voice was gentle and quiet. “Yes?” I looked up and realized it was the oldest daughter from the family table across the room.

“You have such a joy about you”, she said. Her smile was genuine and kind. “I don’t know about you”, she continued, “but I’m a Christian.”“I’m a Christian too.” I hope I didn’t sound defensive.

“Oh. Well, that’s wonderful. And isn’t it great that it shows in your countenance.”

We exchanged a few more pleasantries—“where are you from?’, "I've been there", etc…and she went back to her family.

I almost wish I hadn’t said I was a Christian. I wonder where the conversation would have gone from there.

I wished I’d said something like, “Oh, well my joy doesn’t come from God. No, it probably comes from my daily worship of and conversation with pachyderms.”

“Uh, oh. I mean…well…enjoy your meal.”

You have to admire the young girl’s chutzpa. She clearly felt that the Lord wanted her to speak to me. I actually took it as encouragement. I was having a good time, but there were some things hanging over my head and those troubles were causing me some worry. It’s nice to know that she saw joy overriding any angst I might have been feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I shared this story with a friend of mine and she said she wishes she had the courage to walk up to people and tell them they illuminate God’s radiant joy. My friend said she used to be afraid the receiver of her blessing might not think God had anything to do with it and she’d be embarrassed. Then, my friend says, God gave her an answer for those people, “Well, God is pursuing you because He’s all over you.”

Hmmmm…. I wonder how that would be received. I honestly don’t know. As a believer, I can’t readily put myself in an unbeliever’s hypothetical shoes. But, it sounds good.

What about you? Have you made a “cold” evangelical call to a stranger sitting at a table or barstool across the restaurant from you? Would you do it? What if you felt the overwhelming God-tug on the sleeve and you knew you needed to say something?

Well, God just might call you to get off the pew…uh…I mean, out of the booth, and go talk to the little old lady, or handholding couple across the aisle next time you’re at McDonald’s. What will you say?

Coming Soon!

While on vacation, I saw this sign...

And literally right next store-this sign...

Coming Soon!